fajrdrako | Nice juicy questions....

sarahcascade offered interview questions and I took her up on the offer.

1) Okay, they've decided to make the story of your life into a movie and,
*lucky you*, you've got final say over EVERYTHING, including cast and
crew. Who's in it? Who directs? Who writes? Who does the music? Who
writes the novelization?

I pass up the opportunity, though if I went for it I would like to be portrayed by Louise Brooks (see icon). Second choice: Cheryl Tiegs. Third choice: Katharine Hepburn.

But I'm a private sort of person and don't want a movie about me to exist.

Instead, I opt for a biographical movie about Percy Bysshe Shelley, or Lord Byron, or Julius Caesar, or Richard the Lionheart.

I would be consultant on a script by Neil Gaiman. Or James Goldman. or whoever wrote the script of Dangerous Liaisons or even Pirates of the Caribbean, if they're as good as I think they are - it would have to be someone witty and sharp, with an edge.

2) If you could have dinner, date, or hang out with anyone, alive or
dead, who would it be? Why? What would you do?

First choice: Percy Bysshe Shelley. We would have a picnic somewhere in northern Italy - in Tuscany. We would read to each other and discuss science, religion, art, philosophy and politics; and make love.

Second choice: Julius Caesar. I don't care what we would do or where, but sex would be involved.

Third choice: Henry II of England. No, not Byron or Richard I, though they are possibilities. Henry Plantagenet, and I'd just hope I could handle his energy level.

3) Same question, but you're allowed to chose anyone fictional. Who do
you choose, why and what do you do?

First choice: Francis Crawford of Lymond. He would demonstrate fencing for me, and recite poetry, and I would get to hear him sing. He would show me numerous sides of his multifaceted character (from the clownish to the fey to the arrogant to the charming) and would tell me witty anecdotes of his adventures.

Second choice: Lex Luthor - the Smallville version of the character. Again, I would get to see many aspects of his life and personality - the ruthless businessman, the trickster, the charmer, the man who appreciates literature (he would certainly recite some John Donne!), the sensitive thinker, the intellectual warrior. A visit from his father would happen, with some witty, bitter verbal attacks and counter-attacks that might verge on the emotionally twisted - and ideally, his father would flirt with me and I would flirt back. After which Lex could work out a few of those frustrations in the gym.

Third choice: Can I sail away to freedom on a pirate ship with Jack Sparrow?

My discreet failure here to mention many hours of mindless sex isn't meant to rule it out.

4) So. You're a pirate. What pirate job would you have? Fortopman? Cook?
Captain? Deck swabber?

Personal valet to Captain Jack Sparrow. Or, er, personal attendant. Attendant. Yeah, that's the way to put it.

Are you playing on my weaknesses, hmm, with these nice fantasy questions?

5) What're your fitness goals? Why are you working out?

The easy answer: so I can stop being ashamed of my looks.

I want to feel healthy and attractive, if only to my own eyes. I want to weigh 130. I want to have energy to do what I want to do. I want to have normal blood pressure and cholesterol count. I want to resist and eradicate anxiety and depression. I want to be free from candidiasis symptoms and I want to be physically as strong as I can be.

I want to prove to myself that I can do it.

I want to live up to my own standards.

So... does anyone want to be interviewed by me?