"Revenge of the Pirates!"

Further proving my descent into the madness that is pirate-obsession, I bought "Disney Adventures (August 2003 issue)" yesterday for the Pirates of the Caribbean comic that is in it. Bonus: three photos from the movie of mediocre quality, and a teeny pic of Legolas.

The comic is called "Revenge of the Pirates". It's written by Michael Stewart and drawn by Steven Butler, and I don't think they went without sleep to agonize over this one. I even suspect they didn't have photo-references, since the characters depicted don't look like the actors in the role - they may have been done from character descriptions or costume sketches. Elizabeth, for example, has red hair, and Anamaria has no hat.

Or maybe I give everyone too much credit. Maybe no one cared how they looked or had the talent to do better.

Jack Sparrow's general swishiness is not reproduced, but admittedly, it would be difficult to put his mannerisms in a comic - not impossible, though. For some reason the kohl around his eyes is left off: did they think it would make him look like a raccoon? I'd call that a serious oversight.

I was happy to see Jack call Will a 'swordsmith', not a 'blacksmith'. Much better!

A panel I rather enjoyed:

Murderous skeleton pirates: So - we have found you at last, Jack Sparrow!

Jack: What do you know - a band of cursed pirates who have sworn revenge against me. And I was having such a nice night.

And when Will Turner says, "looks like your old crew is back from the grave again, Jack," I scratched my head in wonder. The Black Pearl crew wasn't dead, just cursed. And after the movie was over, they still mostly weren't dead, just on their way to prison. Another clue that Michael Stewart hadn't read the script, perhaps?

The comic really isn't good on any level, though it has its amusing moments. I liked the various nobly-intentioned double-crosses that Jack pulls (definitely in character) and I liked the following speech by Jack:

Pirating's supposed to be about freedom. Freedom to go where you want - take whatever you want.

It was interesting that Elizabeth is the one who can wield the magic sword, because of her 'purity'. Funny, but 'purity' isn't the first adjective I can think of to apply to Elizabeth, and I'm not sure that Will wasn't the more pure of the two of them. Maybe it's one of those cases where only women can be properly pure - and then don't have an option not to be, however they might have the heart of a pirate.

The worst line by far: at the end, Will says to Jack, "We can't let you take the [magic] blade. It belongs in a museum." Since when do museums deal in magic objects? Not only is this prissy, overly PC, generally stupid, and impossibly anachronistic, it doesn't sound like Will Turner in the least. Not my Will Turner, anyway.

I can't call it $5 well spent, but it was an interesting diversion for a few minutes and it featured Jack Sparrow.

Nice juicy questions....

sarahcascade offered interview questions and I took her up on the offer.


1) Okay, they've decided to make the story of your life into a movie and,
*lucky you*, you've got final say over EVERYTHING, including cast and
crew. Who's in it? Who directs? Who writes? Who does the music? Who
writes the novelization?

I pass up the opportunity, though if I went for it I would like to be portrayed by Louise Brooks (see icon). Second choice: Cheryl Tiegs. Third choice: Katharine Hepburn.

But I'm a private sort of person and don't want a movie about me to exist.

Instead, I opt for a biographical movie about Percy Bysshe Shelley, or Lord Byron, or Julius Caesar, or Richard the Lionheart.

I would be consultant on a script by Neil Gaiman. Or James Goldman. or whoever wrote the script of Dangerous Liaisons or even Pirates of the Caribbean, if they're as good as I think they are - it would have to be someone witty and sharp, with an edge.


2) If you could have dinner, date, or hang out with anyone, alive or
dead, who would it be? Why? What would you do?

First choice: Percy Bysshe Shelley. We would have a picnic somewhere in northern Italy - in Tuscany. We would read to each other and discuss science, religion, art, philosophy and politics; and make love.

Second choice: Julius Caesar. I don't care what we would do or where, but sex would be involved.

Third choice: Henry II of England. No, not Byron or Richard I, though they are possibilities. Henry Plantagenet, and I'd just hope I could handle his energy level.


3) Same question, but you're allowed to chose anyone fictional. Who do
you choose, why and what do you do?

First choice: Francis Crawford of Lymond. He would demonstrate fencing for me, and recite poetry, and I would get to hear him sing. He would show me numerous sides of his multifaceted character (from the clownish to the fey to the arrogant to the charming) and would tell me witty anecdotes of his adventures.

Second choice: Lex Luthor - the Smallville version of the character. Again, I would get to see many aspects of his life and personality - the ruthless businessman, the trickster, the charmer, the man who appreciates literature (he would certainly recite some John Donne!), the sensitive thinker, the intellectual warrior. A visit from his father would happen, with some witty, bitter verbal attacks and counter-attacks that might verge on the emotionally twisted - and ideally, his father would flirt with me and I would flirt back. After which Lex could work out a few of those frustrations in the gym.

Third choice: Can I sail away to freedom on a pirate ship with Jack Sparrow?

My discreet failure here to mention many hours of mindless sex isn't meant to rule it out.


4) So. You're a pirate. What pirate job would you have? Fortopman? Cook?
Captain? Deck swabber?

Personal valet to Captain Jack Sparrow. Or, er, personal attendant. Attendant. Yeah, that's the way to put it.

Are you playing on my weaknesses, hmm, with these nice fantasy questions?


5) What're your fitness goals? Why are you working out?

The easy answer: so I can stop being ashamed of my looks.

I want to feel healthy and attractive, if only to my own eyes. I want to weigh 130. I want to have energy to do what I want to do. I want to have normal blood pressure and cholesterol count. I want to resist and eradicate anxiety and depression. I want to be free from candidiasis symptoms and I want to be physically as strong as I can be.

I want to prove to myself that I can do it.

I want to live up to my own standards.



So... does anyone want to be interviewed by me?

More goofy question stuff...

Got this from ubertodd:

1)what's on your bedside table?

A bottle of water, reading glasses, a box of kleenex, and a couple of comic books I haven't put away yet.


2) what's the geekiest part of your music collection?

I am way too clueless to know what music is geeky and what isn't. I honestly think the answer is 'none of it is geeky' - music is simply music, and you like it or you don't. I know a lot of people would think my collection of Broadway soundtracks is lame, but I love it with a passion.

( Read more... )

Scallywags and heroes....

Someone on one of my mailings lists saw "Pirates of the Caribbean" when it opened in the UK and described it:

What with the shivering of the timbers and the flashing of the blades, the
dripping wet, the steaming heat, the rising, the ebbing, the hoisting, the
swabbing.....men in bondage, men in uniform, men in irons, men in hats with
feathers, lost souls, lusty souls, scallywags and heroes...fine, fine tall dark
haired, tanned athletic men with tatoos....and the most expressive, wonderful dark
brown eyes....

She made me smile, and I got her permission to quote her.

I'm going to see it again tomorrow and really, really look forward to it.

Gosford Park....

I'd been wanting to see Gosford Park ever since it came out. Finally got to see it tonight.

Good plot. It felt like a new version of Upstairs, Downstairs, but done with less humour.

But not riveting. I didn't really feel much for most of the characters; Parks and Mary were good, but disappointing in the end. I kept wanting the story to latch onto a theme and stay there, but there were too many characters.... I know, the whole point of the movie was that it wasn't romantic fluff or melodrama. The most moving moments were the maid's outburst at the dinner table, and the scene where the sisters, who had been feuding, wept in each other's arms over their lost children.

I really don't like Kirsten Scott Thomas, which is a pity. On the other hand: I don't usually like Maggie Smith, and here, I thought she was terrific.