(no subject)

[fajrdrako]

This meme amused me more than most. Again, it's questions for the very young (and guileless) so that I had to tilt my head sometimes.

---------HAVE YOU EVER

* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: No.
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: No. Accidently burned some of my hair once.
* Been in a car accident: A fender-bender, once, with maaseru
* Been hurt emotionally: Very much so.
* Had an imaginary friend: Yes, as a kid.
* Cried during a movie: Often.
* Had a crush on a teacher: Yes. Again, often.
* Ever thought an animated character was hot?: Are we talking about Gambit?
* Had a New Kids On the Block tape: No.
* Been on stage: Yes. Briefly. I was a tree once in kindergarten.
* Cut your hair: Yes.

-------------FAVORITES
* Shampoo: I like the Grapefruit shampoo from The Body Shop, which they don't make any more. Pine-scented shampoos are nice. I often use Johnson's Baby Shampoo.
* Color: Blue.
* Day/Night: Both. May I say twilight?
* Summer/Winter: Autumn. Or: cool summer evenings.
* Lace or satin: Satin.
* Cartoon Characters: Defining 'cartoon' ... how? May I say "Gambit" again? I don't generally like animated cartoons.
* Food: Cinnamon buns. I usually say 'raspberries' but right now I am craving a cinnamon bun.
* Fave Movie: The Music Man
* Fave Ice Cream: The vanilla ice cream they sell at Costco.
* Fave Subject: To discuss? In school? Well... "history", I guess, fits both. (Unless I say "sex".)
* Fave Drink: Kinnie.

RIGHT NOW------------
* Wearing: Navy blue satin shirt, black cotton trousers, black patent leather shoes, tiny gold earrings, a watch
* Eating: I have a glass of water beside me.
* Drinking: Er... [sip] water.
* Thinking about: Today's Tai Chi class.
* Listening to: Saws in the workshop not too far away.
* Talking to: No one.
* Watching: My weight.

--------IN THE LAST 24 HRS
* Cried: No.
* Worn a skirt: No.
* Met someone new: ...No, though I've spoken to a few people I never spoke to before, learning their names and having a brief functional conversation. Not sure if that counts. I will not likely ever speak to them again.
* Cleaned your room: In the last twenty-four hours? What on earth for? I keep my bedroom generally neat, or try to. I only vacuum it on weekends. I cleaned up my kitchen within the past twenty-four hours, and did two loads of dishwashing.
* Done laundry: Laundry also is for weekends.
* Drove a car: I don't drive.

------DO YOU BELIEVE IN
Let me make a caveat here that I distrust this use of the phrase 'believe in', as I find its meaning ambiguous or unclear. I know I exist; cogito ergo sum. But I take the metaphorical meaning.

* Yourself: Yes. Sometimes not as much as I'd like to.
* Friends: Yes.
* Santa Claus: Only in spirit.
* Destiny/Fate: I do when Lex Luthor talks about it on Smallville. I do not believe in predestination, only in tendencies.
* Angels: ...Define "angel". I like the concept, the warrior-angels of Christian myth. I like depictions of angels in such novels as The Vintner's Luck and anime and Neil Gaiman's "Season of Mist" in The Sandman. Does this mean I "believe in" angels? Yes, but only if I can have angels with no assumptions of Christianity or monotheism.
* Ghosts: Only if we allow no assumptions or preconceptions about what ghosts actually are.
* UFO's: Ditto. Of course we see unidentified things in the sky. Sometimes we can figure out what they are. Sometimes not.

LOVE----------
* Bf/gf: Does this mean, am I one? do I have one? do I want one? Yes in varying degrees to all, I think.
* Ever been in love: Yes.
* Cheated on anyone: No, never. I have been in a polyamorous relationship... A couple of them, actually. But that's not cheating. When my partner wanted monogamy, I was monogamous.
* Ever done a "drunken stupid mistake": Never been drunk, remember?
* Ever had a lesbian/gay experience: It wasn't an "experience", it was love, no more or less so than any het "experience".

-----TELL THE TRUTH!!-----------
Would you ever:
* Pay for sex: Maybe.
* Strip for money: No.
* Play strip poker: Depends.
* Work in McDonalds: I'd rather not.
* Lie: I hate lying. It doesn't mean I have never told a lie or that I never will, but it seriously means I don't want to.
* Bitch about someone: Only if warranted.
* What's the best feeling in the world: Love.

Comments

[silverwhistle.livejournal.com]

Surely the best feeling in the world is schadenfreude?

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I never really managed to get into shadenfreude myself. Just don't really manage to feel it, somehow.

[silverwhistle.livejournal.com]

Since my own life hasn't been exactly a bowl of cherries, I can't help enjoying seeing other people's success turn sour, especially when they're the sort who have rubbed one's nose in one's own perceived 'failure'.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I can understand it - just have never felt it.

[xinef.livejournal.com]

http://xinef.livejournal.com/294375.html

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I put my comments on your page.

[monsieureden.livejournal.com]

Man, this is so my niece's facebook profile. o___O I can hardly understand parts of her internet speak. And I am not so poorly versed for my age. ha!

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I like to think of myself as multilingual. Hah!

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

- I actually go for many animated characters :-) I am an anime-junky (otaka). Don't see why they can't be sexy, drawn nudes/erotica can be sexy as well.
I don't have really the hots for any of them, but I don't have for actors either, even though I can find some of them sexy. For some reason I need to interact with someone to get properly attracted.

- lying. I am actually quite a good liar. Or should I say I tell stories without revealing they are (part) fiction. I can get carried away especially when hypomanic.

- best feeling: satisfaction. (physical and emotional, of a job well done, of a craving fully met)

- I belief in myself as the starting point of my experience.

- strip for money: depends, certainly if I was rolling high, perhaps if I needed the money

- drunk and passed out: yes!! blacked out once (possibly been fed other drugs)

- belief in angels: I think angels fall in the same category as deities. I am an atheist, I don't belief there is such a thing as God independent of humanity. I think humankind is a meaning giving creature, one of the ways to give meaning is to think in abstracts and give these abstracts contours. Angels are such possible contours. It isn't that I don't think they exist, but more like I belief something like justice exists (and a very important thing it is too).

- bitch? yes a lot. But I don't like the feeling so I try to direct it away from other people. Share good things (well, I whine and moan, those are not positive feelings, but I generally feel a bit better for sharing)

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I actually go for many animated characters

So do I. But the question was about cartoons which (to my ears) implies American animation and antropomorphic characters. Perhaps that is an old-fashioned understanding of the word. In anime, I would say Howl and Sephiroth spring to mind - and any number of cute guys from the slashy series. But I really know the manga much better than the anime and I didn't think the word 'cartoon' covered that - though it might. In which case, add Major Klaus von dem Eberbach and anyone drawn by Ryoichi Ikegami.

I tell stories without revealing they are (part) fiction.

I have friends who do that. It drives me nuts: I hate that. I know they can't help it, but it seems so... deceptive.

Blacking out with drugs: I've always had a fear of mind-altering substances, and to tell the truth, my greatest fear is not the ones I usually talk about - all of which are true too, like having strange reactions to drugs, and not reacting normally - but the strongest part is the fear that, once my inhibitions are gone, I'll make a fool of myself sexually by making passes at people I shouldn't. Potentially offending friends. See? I'm afraid of losing control because I like sex way too much. And maybe it might be better for me if I didn't have that fear, but who knows? (The fear is not because I'm inhibited, but because I'm not.)

I think angels fall in the same category as deities.

I agree absolutely.

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

I'll make a fool of myself sexually by making passes at people I shouldn't.

ohoh, never ever ever become manic. I was afraid I would force myself on strangers. I have been very very lucky in my sexual history generally encountering men with a strong protective streak. It might just have been that I'd attract men who'd like to share. My judgment threshold has been rather low at times.

I have friends who do that. It drives me nuts: I hate that. I know they can't help it, but it seems so... deceptive.

When I do I never aim for deception. There are just times of my live that other things seem just so much more attractive that interweaving facts i read in a magazine into the narration of my own life. Yes, this is a symptom of hypomania. but well, it is fun. It feels fun. But then again, I never feel like I could do a hurtful thing. It just feels like celebrating life.

cartoon is an American word, anime & manga are Japanese words, tekenfilm and strip are the Dutch words.
I have a soft spot for many Japanese style tekenfilms and strips.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

My judgment threshold has been rather low at times.

Yes. I've always been cautious because I'm aware of the trouble I could get into. Maybe I should say "the trouble I'd like to get into." Anyway, this has always kept me from doing anything that would diminish my control, like drink and drugs.

There are just times of my live that other things seem just so much more attractive that interweaving facts i read in a magazine into the narration of my own life. Yes, this is a symptom of hypomania. but well, it is fun.

A form of fantasy. I can understand it, even though I don't like it. And I have friends who tell lies (subconsciously?) because their self-image is low and the feel the need to embellish their lives or accomplishments for the sake of their own pride. There are better ways.

"Cartoon" has become very ambiguous in English. It can mean a sketch for a work of art, like Rembrandt's drawings of figures for a major work. It can mean a sketchy figure, animated or not, like Porky the Pig. Or it can mean anime, or American or European animation, or a comic stip (but not a comic book). Which is why I wasn't sure what to answer. The popularity of anime has made the work upgrade, I think, especially among the young.

I have a soft spot for many Japanese style tekenfilms and strips.

As do I. But just as in general I prefer comic books to animated cartoons, I prefer manga to anime.

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

the thing with (hypo)mania is that it happens to you. Sure, you can try to avoid possible triggers and such, but that is no guarantee. The meds I take work better against the "up" spectrum than the "down" spectrum but even so I feel it peep out. It has some slight psychotic features that are just soo delicious. It brings an euphoria that just being merely in love + getting a mighty orgasm + winning the lottery + Christmas + getting your dream job + bungee jumping + a million other orgasms all together pale in comparison. (that is mania, not hypomania, but that can feel damn good as well). It is like you understand everything, it all makes sense, and your mind is soo much bigger than normally and you love everybody and everything is soo damn funny you laugh and you love and every thing is so big and wide and throbbing and ooooohhh
(But then, splash cold acid trough my veins, evil maggots eating my brain, gone the golden light, gone my super being on top of everything, I am in the pits, but still the orgasm goes on, only black and I am sawn apart and end up in bloody pieces all wriggling and wriggling in a search for never coming release.)

eh, something like that....

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I can well understand liking that sort of feeling good - and in fact, I have a few bipolar friends who don't like their meds because they diminish the high. So I am pretty much thankful to be normal, and only get highs like that in exceptional and occasional circumstances. Thankfully, whether I take drugs or alcohol is under my control.

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

For many people (hypo)mania is just euphoric and then it is indeed very difficult to be consistent and prudent and keep on taking your meds. For me much of mania is a mixed state, not just euphoric but extremely dark. It is not depression, it feels much more active than depression, like all the extremes of energy you get during a manic episode has converted itself to the goal of making you miserable. While during depression you become too still during a mixed episode burn away in agony, you cannot find any form of rest. I am a rapid cycler which means that my mood at times can switch from extreme euphoria, to deep depression to active, frantic fearfulness to euphoria, to blazing anger and feeling totally out of control within one day. I've felt like I was just a empty puppet filled with the weirdest foreign emotions pumped into me from outa space until they leaked out of me trough every opening of my body. What ever I felt had nothing to do with me, nothing to what actually happened in the world around me, nothing to what i managed to think or do.
The euphoric part is in a way desirable, but the whole package the way I've experienced it is horrid. So very very horrid.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

It does sound horrid. I hope all of that becomes more calm and manageable for you. I've only had any of that from the depressive end of it - and that was bad enough.