My father...

[fajrdrako]

I was awakened a little while ago with a phone call from Dr. Tafigh Tabarmanaf of the Burnaby Hospital in Burnaby, British Columbia, to tell me my father died this evening at 8:15 PST.

This was not unexpected. He has been increasingly failing over the last few months, struggling with recurring pneumonia, unconscious and unresponsive for the past few weeks. They phoned me at work today to say they didn't expect him to survive the night.

And he didn't.

My relationship with my father was - 'troubled', I suppose is the best word for it. He was not an easy father to have. But this evening I have felt more at peace with him than I have at any time since early childhood. I've been feeling sad and restless over the course of the evening.... but no longer troubled by the anger or guilt or hurt I had felt about him for decades. He loved me, despite his problems, and I loved him. Despite mine.

My Papa: born January 8, 1919 in Leicester, England; died July 25, 2008 in Burnaby, BC.

Death. Never easy.

Comments

[haydenthorne.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. *hugs*

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Comments like this mean a lot. *hugs* in return

[fairestcat]

*hugs you*

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *hugs back*

[j-bluestocking.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. Glad you've found some peace, though I know the echoes of these goodbyes never stop. My sincere sympathies.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[commodorified.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie. May he rest in peace and rise in the Light.

I'm busy, but not as busy as I expected to be. You want a quick visit tomorrow evening?

Also, if you can't get back to sleep, I am on IM.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind words.

A visit would be nice - I'd certainly love to see you before you leave. However, I'm not sure what time I'll be home, if I go to Carleton Place as planned - I'll call you about this a little later, okay?

I got back to sleep all right, but had odd dreams.

[gypsylady.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's good to know that you both knew love for each other before it was too late. But no matter how expected, death of a loved one is never pleasant or good. So my thoughts are for your healing.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the kind thoughts.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I am so sorry.

I understand this well. I'm 'troubled' with my mother, and will share much of this when she goes, I'm sure.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind thoughts. Yes, parental 'troubles' are hardly rare - !

[nishatalitha.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry for your loss.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind words and especially thanks for the hugs. It means at lot at a time like this.

[ataniell93.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss. Be easy with yourself.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[lilithilien.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you for saying so. It helps so much to have friends showing sympathy and caring.

[dargie.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Liz. If there's anything you need... you know.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

What a nice thing to say. Means more than I can say. Thank you. It means a lot to know that even if we aren't geographically close and don't see each other often, you're there for me.

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Many thanks. *hugs*

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

I am sorry about your father, glad that you feel at peace.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[louiex.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry for your loss.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's so comforting to hear people expressing sympathy and condolences. Thank you again.

[devohoneybee.livejournal.com]

I went through a whole panoply of emotions when my father died, sometimes at the same time. I finally came to an understanding that my adult self was glad he had reached the peace he wanted, and even a bit relieved for the difficult parts to be done with, while my little girl self wanted my Daddy. Not entirely the Daddy he had been, but the one I always hoped for.

May you continue to find peace and understanding with respect to your father, and may he rest in peace.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I went through a whole panoply of emotions when my father died, sometimes at the same time.

Yes, me too. Some very conflicting emotions. Funny what a difference it makes - how different the perspective becomes.

I finally came to an understanding that my adult self was glad he had reached the peace he wanted, and even a bit relieved for the difficult parts to be done with, while my little girl self wanted my Daddy. Not entirely the Daddy he had been, but the one I always hoped for.

That is so very well expressed - exactly the way I felt. Feel. Felt.

Thanks so much for saying this.

[benbenberi.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. :-(

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[jackarono.livejournal.com]

Oh, hugs! What a long life he had, though, and I hope that the peace you felt lasts.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Yes. My father lived almost ninety years, thought it's almost hard to imagine that I had a father that old, who'd seen so much of what to me is history.

Thanks for the kind words.

[msilverstar]

That's hard, no matter what. I so sympathize.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for saying so. It really helps to know I have friends, and to know... how this is a kind of distress that just about everyone can understand.

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

*hugs* He must have seen so many things in his long life!

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

He did see a lot. Born just after World War I - such a different world then, too, and changing so fast all his lifetime. He was in on the beginning of computers and saw them become household items.

[meret.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss. *big hug*

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And especially thank you for the big comforting hug, which helps a lot.

[bright-lilim.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and hope that sense of peace continues for you.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[luthien.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. *hugs*

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *hugs* back.

[kathyh]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the kind thought.

[liliaeth]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Death of a family member is always hard, regardless of how close or not close you are with them.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Yes - the loss of a parent means something in a way few other losses do. Maybe it's just that we've known a parent (by definition) all our lives, and gone from such dependency and closeness in babyhood to whatever it was we grew up to.

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Many thanks for the kind words.

Love that icon. It's so... artistic. And comforting.