FIC Torchwood - Our Future

[fajrdrako]

Title: Our Future
Fandom: Torchwood ficlet
Characters: Jack, Gwen
Challenge: theatrical_muse, things to look forward to
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, no claims, all property of the BBC.
Notes: Spoilers for Torchwood 1x13, "Exit Wounds" - Gwen's pov thoughts.


Our Future

The world, from time to time, turns itself inside out and then reasserts itself - and everything's changed.

Everything is different but Jack, and that makes no sense, because Jack should be the most changed of all: he's two thousand years older than he was six hours ago. Two thousand years, and he's the same. "I'm not quite the same," he said to me. "Nothing is static. Not even me."

Owen is dead. Yes, well, he was already dead, but now his spirit is gone. Funny, though, it isn't his spirit I'm remembering. I'm remembering what it was like when we were lovers. I'm remembering the touch of his hands, the way he laughed, the way he used to taunt me - and how wildly I responded. I'm remembering the expression on his face, when he came, and the way he made me feel reckless.

I'm remembering the way his skin smelled. I'll never meet that scent again. Maybe someday I'll forget, but I don't want to.

Tosh died bravely in Jack's arms and he wept for her. He loved her. He loves all of us. That comforts me, but it frightens me, too. In a world that is constantly changing, how can he remain the same?

I wanted to leave Torchwood. Jack didn't pressure me, but asked me to think about it. "We need each other," he said. He didn't mean just him and me, he meant him and me and Ianto.

The Torchwood survivors. We have each other.

I ought to go home to Rhys and tell him what happened but I don't want to leave Torchwood, not right now, not yet. There's something in the masonry here, in the tiles, in the thrumming electronics - they're all part of something that fits together, like Jack and me and Ianto and the future of the world.

Jack let Captain John leave. "After all he's done?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"He did his best," he said. It was both judgment and excuse. But what it meant had nothing to do with Captain John himself: It just meant that he didn't belong in Torchwood, not with us, not now. He didn't share what Jack, Ianto and I share. Even though he was there. He never loved Tosh or Owen. He just loved Jack.

I loved Tosh. I wish I'd said something to her about it. Done something. I don't know if she might have loved me or not, but life's too short to be afraid of loving someone. Now I'll never know what her kiss would have been like.

There are things I am looking forward to in my future:

Relationships without fear, knowing how easily loved ones can be lost, and love makes us all stronger.

Treasuring each day because each one is valuable.

Figuring out what my responsibility to the future is.

Comments

[toraks.livejournal.com]

Love it! :-D

I'm all caught up on Torchwood, and Tom's watching Dr.Who with me now too! I convinced him (wasn't hard) that since the new season was starting we should watch it! ;-p

First two eps were lighter in mood than I'd expected. I suppose I thought it'd be more Torchwood like and more serious/deadly/angsty. But then, I'm probably one of the few who are going into Dr.Who from Torchwood rather than vice versa. Or maybe not. I've definitely enjoyed them so far. Light but not superficial at all. The human interactions are done well as expected!!

Anyway, not on LJ much these days, but I saw this and though i'd say hello and I really enjoyed your fic! Should read more of yours... ;-p

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Love it!

Thank you! I'm delighted.

Tom's watching Dr.Who with me now too! I convinced him (wasn't hard) that since the new season was starting we should watch it! ;-p

Good plan, and I'm glad it worked.

First two eps were lighter in mood than I'd expected.

It tends to be like that; not that it doesn't get serious, sometimes very serious (and it has its tear-jerkers)but when it's dark, it's... subtle. They write it very carefully with kids in mind as the audience. And 4th season, to my mind, is much lighter so far than the last three. (Despite some angsty moments in "The Fires of Pompeii".)

Light but not superficial at all.

Yes - that's a very good way of describing it.

I'm glad you enjoyed the fic, and that you had a moment to say 'hi'. I haven't had much chance for list-reading or posting, I've been sleeping too much.

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

There's something in the masonry here, in the tiles, in the thrumming electronics - they're all part of something that fits together, like Jack and me and Ianto and the future of the world.

The Hub is alive, isn't it; it has a subtle heartbeat, which I know Jack and Ianto hear and feel in their own bodies, the way a good sailor feels his boat alive around him. I'm glad you written Gwen to feel it as well.

Torchwood isn't her home the way it is for Jack and Ianto who have nothing and no one outside, but perhaps it can become a source of strength for her.

Thanks again for another great fic. God, I can't even imagine where they'll go on from here.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you written Gwen to feel it as well.

I think Gwen knows it's there, but doesn't feel it or know it in the way Ianto and Jack do - at least, not yet - but she's very intuitive and partly because they feel it, partly because it's all around her, she can sense it, at least in part.

And I think Gwen has come to need Torchwood, and to be a part of it. I think taking charge when Jack was away made a big difference to her preception.

I can't even imagine where they'll go on from here.

I can imagine possibilities, but I don't know what they'll do. I suppose we'll see in series 3, if there is a series 3. I really think there will be... and I hope so.

[jackarono.livejournal.com]

I think that's so true-- they're held together because they're all survivors, but also by love. And they're the only ones who loved both Tosh and Owen, so the only ones who can really keep them alive.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping this will bring them together and keep them together.

I also hope Captain John will be back.

[dameruth.livejournal.com]

I was really glad that the end of "Exit Wounds" showed Gwen, Jack and Ianto not just genuinely grieving, but also comforting each other. There really is a sense that they'll pull through, and be even closer and more dedicated than before, and you summarize that well in your ficlet.

I also like that you have Jack saying John "did his best" -- in a way, he really did; he's still miles away from being one of the good guys, but he was cruelly used by Gray and showed some genuine remorse at what he was forced into doing (as well as attempting some damage control to the best of his abilities). I'll be curious to see if they develop his character further, next season.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Jack and Ianto not just genuinely grieving, but also comforting each other.

Yes. I loved that, because it was what I wanted to see. All through series 2 the characters were drawing closer together; this was in a way a culmination of that.

The same kind of grieving/closeness didn't seem to happen for Suzie, but it seems she kept herself more aloof. At Ianto at first tried to do.

I also like that you have Jack saying John "did his best"

I found it hard to read Jack's reaction to John at the end of "Exit Wounds". I don't think he felt hostile - perhaps he feels that John has his own learning to undergo?

I really hope they do develop John's character next season, because I really like him. He's interesting and intriguing.

[gypsylady.livejournal.com]

Beautiful.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[raissad.livejournal.com]

The tone is perfect! :)

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I'm delighted you thought so. Thank you!

[of-too-minds.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed that little ficlet, hon. I like how you made Torchwood a character in its own right, one that Jack and Ianto and Gwen are all attached to. Some buildings are alive, and the Hub is one of them.

Glad to hear you're feeling better! *hugs*

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I like how you made Torchwood a character in its own right, one that Jack and Ianto and Gwen are all attached to.

"Exit Wounds" made me think this - that Torchwood was a presence as well as a place and an institution. And that it was hurt, and needed tending by Jack and the others, while it protects them.

Glad to hear you're feeling better!

Thank you! Feeling more human every day.