On the bus...

[fajrdrako]

Once again this morning I went to the #6 bus stop, and once again there was a sign on the stop that it was 'not in use' and the bus would be going along Isabella St. Since Isabella St. is another ten minutes' walk at least on unploughed sidewalks, I opted to go to Bank St. again and get the #1 or #7.

It is unclear to me whether the #6 - which I'll swear is the must badly used bus route/schedule in the city - will ever be coming back to O'Connor and First. I sent e-mail to OC Transpo asking; we'll see what they tell me. The bus driver said a while back they were 'making changes'. Is this it?

When the bus was nearing my final stop at King Edward, a girl on the bus started to make wild and jerky movements. Enough to be noticeable. Then she started to slap herself on the hand and arm. Then hitting herself on the head, more wildly. Then she started to vocalize - some cursing, but mostly nonverbal sounds like growls and yelps. I wondered if she needed help, and if so, what kind. I'm sure the rest of the bus was wondering the same thing. I imagine it was Tourette syndrome? at a guess? She didn't seem likely to hurt herself (or others), but one can't help wondering if there isn't a better reaction than just sitting there watching with polite concern.

Amazingly enough, it isn't snowing today. It's sunny. Long may this last! On Saturday, I wanted to walk to the Silver Snail and back - a pleasant walk of about twenty minutes each way, in good weather. The sidewalks seemed clear, so I set out. Within five minutes it started to snow. Fairly heavily. I gave up and took a bus.

So after I'd bought my comics, I left the store, and it had stopped snowing. Great, thought I, I can walk home. Within five minutes it was hailing. I gave up and took a bus.

I really, really want to start walking again. Not just walking to work, but walking on weekends with commodorified and auriaephiala. I want to walk without winter boots and ice patches.

March is difficult.

Comments

[brashley46.livejournal.com]

That sounds like Tourette's, yes.

And I want to get my bicycle back on the street ... it's late this year already.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Weatherwise, we can whimper in tandem.

One of the walking problems is that with so many unwalkable sidewalks, there's nowhere to walk except the road, and the roads are already narrowed to a lane and a half - nowhere to walk, nowhere to cycle.

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

As far as I know it sounds like it is Tourette's. (Though it might also be a psychiatric thing.) You could always ask someone if they need help...

I suffer from a condition named propiospinal myoclonus (the name doesn't much more than describe the condition: jerky movements originating in the spine. Imagine quite strong movements, enough to have my body convulse noticeably in a whole room full of students, my torso goes forward 15 cm. and bang backwards with my head against the chair, or my legs move bang up against the table).

At times I've sat in the train or other public transport and even though it is fairly busy and people had to stand people walked past me and didn't want to sit close. I've been ignored so many times (and yes it does hurt in my case). I don't loose consciousness (like with epilepsy). The response of people has felt bad a times. (Also, people have told me "oh, I find it courageous of you that you come outside/follow classes/come to this party. Now what hidden meaning is there?!?!)

NB I am very lucky, one of the meds I got prescribed for bipolar helps fairly well against the myoclonus. (Many of the mood stabilisers are anti-convulsants.) The same med reduces the amount of migraines I suffer drastically. I am very lucky. (considered some things at least)

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

The same med reduces the amount of migraines I suffer drastically. I am very lucky. (considered some things at least)

I take an anti-convulsant for bipolar and went from at least one migraine a week to-- none. Never. Not one since I started taking Depakote. That is one hell of an awesome side effect.

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

yep, Depakote. 4 to 5 migraines weekly to 1 or 2 a month. Lovely.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I hope you get them less and less and then not at all.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

What a wonderful side effect! I assume it works for bipolar as well? That's one terrific med. I love it when they have good side effects, not bad ones.

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's been wonderful all around. I've been able to totally reclaim my brain for my own use. :-)

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Excellent! That's a totally good thing.

I have no way of judging exactly what the Zoloft did, but it seemed to make me functional enough that I could eventually stop taking it. And now I'm fine, touch wood. So! Never mind what Tom Cruise might say: meds are life-savers and brain-savers and very good things.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

You could always ask someone if they need help...

I think I might have, if we hadn't been near my stop.

the name doesn't much more than describe the condition: jerky movements originating in the spine

Is it possible I might have had that, to a milder extent, as a side effect of medication? When I was on Zoloft I used to get strange convulsions originating in the spine. I didn't convulse anything like 15 cm, maybe more like 2 or 3 cm, and I'd have it in bouts of maybe a few spasms per minute for 5 or 10 minutes, then it would go away. It wasn't painful and it didn't happen often (once or twice per day, usually at night) so I wasn't very distressed... Compared to the enormity of depression, it was nothing. But it was strange. I figured it was a side effect of the Zoloft, and since the Zoloft was obviously helping me, I wasn't too upset. I don't remember discussing it with my doctor. I didn't really want to experiment by trying other drugs that might have other, worse side effects.

The same med reduces the amount of migraines I suffer drastically. I am very lucky

How wonderful! I never found any kind of medication that worked with migraines at all, but I seem to have fewer migraines all the time, thank goodness.

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

yeah, you had mentioned before that you responded like that to zoloft (BTW for a hopefully never appearing next time, better do tell your doctor, some psychopharmica can have movement disorders as side-effects that persist after you cease treatment. You don't want that, so better have it checked).

Your symptoms where way milder than mine, I could at bad times not hold things in my hands, banged my head to the chair every few seconds for hours. Eh, no not nice. Very happy it is milder now, still more pronounced than your (as far as I can estimate from here), but way better to handle.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I'm glad your spasms are milder now. That's difficult to go through. Yes, mine was very mild, just weird that it happened. Hopefully it won't happen again. Ever. And hopefully I won't need anti-depressants again, either. Crossed fingers.

And yes, I should be better than I am about reportig such things to the doctors. But so often I've told them about things that result in horrible and time-consuming medical tests that come to nothing that I tend to keep my mouth shut if I dare. Yes, it's a gamble.

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

I've been lucky with my shrinks. Yeah on the one hand that I keep getting a new one because they are in training. But on the other hand, they are still open minded and have got the latest information. There general approach is to work with the patient (provided you are not so completely depressed or manic there is no choice but take charge). When confronted with side effects they tend to ask to what extent they bother you and if you start avoid doing things because of them. The more they are a problem, the greater the need to consider switching meds. But my experience is that they are actually quite conservative. Don't change a winning team, if a med works, keep it if at all possible.

I did get load of tests for the spasms though. But several of them where to exclude quite serious stuff (like brain tumour) and it is good that they were done I would say.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

several of them where to exclude quite serious stuff (like brain tumour) and it is good that they were done I would say.

Oh, yes. Always better to rule out the life-threatening stuff as soon as possible. I can't prove that the spasms were the side effects of the pills, but I was pretty sure they were, and so it seems - as they stopped soon after I stopped taking the pills.

When I was ver young, most of my medical tests were related to having scleroderma, which doctors don't seem to be able to do much about. (This may have changed and improved since I was young, but I'm pretty sure it still isn't curable.) After I had mono and epstein-barr, they kept testing my for HIV, becuase my blood was weird for a while. Nope, no HIV, I'm happy to say. That lasted for about a decade... And now, most of my hassle-related medical tests have been biospies and various tests for cancer, all of which have happily come out negative. I do get frequent abdominal pain (from ovarian cysts, or fibroids, or endometriosis or all three) and I've stopped griping to the doctors about it unless it keeps me awake night after night for weeks - which hasn't happened in a while. Usually it goes away on its own after a few days.

[walkingowl.livejournal.com]

but one can't help wondering if there isn't a better reaction than just sitting there watching with polite concern.

Actually, any other response would have been intrusive, and would have caused her even greater embarrassment than she was already feeling. (I am guessing, of course, but I have some insight, as you know.) I surmise that the stress of the ride on the crowded morning bus was overwhelming and that the physical and vocal behavior were self-calming tricks; yes, they were surprising and possibly alarming to the rest of you, but right then she was probably so totally focused on her own internal unease that all she could think about was to calm it, regulate it, discharge it... a further guess would be that the slapping and touching were a way of bringing her focus to one point, her own awareness of her own physical body, rather than having it flying all over the place distracted by all the sights, sounds, and tactile stuff that were probably on the bus. She was, I am saying, unable to screen these sensory perceptions out in other ways, unlike you and others could do.

So, ignoring her was the most respectful reaction. But I don't think she would have been upset had anyone tried to get her attention and asked if she needed some help... also, she would not have been very able to respond to them, but I don't think she would have been offended if anyone had done that. The worst thing would have been had someone grabbed her and made her stop moving and vocalizing -- really.

And, what an embarrassing situation to be in. Both for her, and for the others. And not least of all because of your uncertainty of what was going on, and whether she needed help, and whether you should do anything and if so what, or wait for someone else to act. I hope no one did anything. But, again, how difficult a situation that would have been.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Much of what you say is what I guessed or thought. I suspected that if I spoke to her, she wouldn't be able to respond, and possibly not to hear. I would hope that her agitated state didn't last long.