The Barrowman book: Anything Goes...
Jan. 22nd, 2008 03:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fajrdrakoFrustration: they're selling autographed copies of Anything Goes at play.com, but they won't ship to Canada. I am frustrated. I can't think of an easy way around this. Oh, to be in the UK!
(I'm not generally an autograph collector, but writers and books are a different matter - !)
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Date: 2008-02-05 07:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 09:57 pm (UTC)Hey, no problem. Somebody might as well get use out of me living here! ;-)
Just let me know.
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Date: 2008-02-06 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 10:07 am (UTC)Yeah, it's like a fairly benign curse:
May you live where you don't particularly want to but where you are the envy of many of your friends!
Not that I have anything against England, but I've just never been particularly an Anglophile and I'm very American. And I miss home hugely (the culture, my family, my friends -- haven't made any really close ones here yet). And I didn't choose to come here, somehow that makes a huge difference -- I came here because this is where Tom got the best job offer. I followed him here 1.5 years later even. Without a job. ;-)
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Date: 2008-02-06 11:32 am (UTC)As long as it's not an awful place.
but I've just never been particularly an Anglophile and I'm very American
That seems almost unfair - I've always been an Anglophile and while Americans are individually delightful, American culture seems a strange and baffling place.
Missing home is a hard thing, too. When I lived in London I didn't miss home, but I missed my family.
So how long have you been in the UK now?
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Date: 2008-02-06 12:01 pm (UTC)It's not awful. I'm getting very used to it by now that I've been here just over 4 years. And there are a lot of things that are much better than the US (universal health care, maternity leave, maternity benefits, etc) that are even very relevant to our lives (including the work hours, the expectations for which are much less than in the US).
But yeah, it does seem really unfair that I have so many friends who'd love to live here. But don't/can't. And I was pulled here kinda kicking and screaming! ;-p
I really miss my own culture. I'm sure if we moved back this second I'd have reverse culture shock, but I think I'd adjust back to home very quickly. Though, from this last trip, I noticed that Americans are really, um, different than the English. I can see the stereotypes, it's scary.
I've always been able to differentiate between an American of Indian descent, a British person of Indian descent, and a born and brought up Indian (even like my parents who have been living in the US for 30 years) by a glance. Accents not necessary. A way of holding yourself, a way of interacting with the world (looking at people or not, etc.).
Somehow I never saw those differences between Americans and English before now. But then before now, I'd never spent a long time in any country except America and India. Now England has opened me up to the subtle differences (that don't seem subtle anymore) between the English and the Americans, I'm sure I'd that difference for Canadians too. I see the differences now for all the European countries. It's a weird eye-opener. Especially seeing Americans as an outsider. It's not pleasant. ;-S
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Date: 2008-02-06 12:12 pm (UTC)I'd trade with you in a second!
I have a friend in Toronto who is in your position - her husband just got a job in the UK, and she doesn't particularly want to go, but is doing so. And I am so envious!
Though, from this last trip, I noticed that Americans are really, um, different than the English. I can see the stereotypes, it's scary.
Hee - I don't think I should ask for the details, there! Yes, I see a huge cultural difference between Americans and the British, and between Americans and Canadians. A lot of it is in attitude, but there are other things, too.
Now England has opened me up to the subtle differences (that don't seem subtle anymore) between the English and the Americans
LOL - doesn't look subtle to me, either.
A way of holding yourself, a way of interacting with the world (looking at people or not, etc.).
Including all sorts of body language, how you speak and when you speak, and so on. And expectations of how the other person will speak and react, and so on.
Especially seeing Americans as an outsider. It's not pleasant.
It's the whole "seeing ourselves as others see us" thing. I think sometimes I'd rather not know what other people think about Canadians.
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Date: 2008-02-06 01:18 pm (UTC)Yup. Exactly. A lot of my friends feel that way about me.
Hee - I don't think I should ask for the details, there!
Yeah, cultural differences, I definitely knew in advance. But things like posture, attitude, dress sense. Americans (as a whole, you don't see it as much in individuals you know, necessarily) seem a heck of a lot coarser than they used to! Yeah, couldn't quite figure out the right word earlier. British refinement vs. American coarseness. I think that describes it fairly well. Not necessarily a bad thing, but does make me wince a bit in reaction going back.
Then again, Tom's French sister-in-law finds the English dress sense completely vulgar. And I see that too. ;-p
In a lot of cases, depends on who you're looking at too.
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Date: 2008-02-07 03:06 pm (UTC)Vulgarity is, of course, everywhere, and coarseness too. Nobody has a monopoly on that. What I see in Americans (compared to Canadians) is not that, it's a sort of... I'm groping for the word. Sense of certainty? Self-assuredness? It can come across as cockiness or arrogance, but it usually really isn't - it's unconscious and has more to do with manner than attitude.
When I was in England, I felt totally at home, despite many strangenesses around me. In the US I always feel as if I'm in a strange and different world which is utterly fascinating but I never know quite what to expect next - except, predictably, the unexpected!
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Date: 2008-02-07 03:13 pm (UTC)Yeah, it's a question of what you're sensitive to and when. I've certainly been back to the US before and not felt that particular thing.
That's interesting that England felt totally at home to you. I wonder if Canada and England retain enough ties that the cultures are more similar. Or perhaps you're enough of an Anglophile that you absorbed the relevant culture enough beforehand. :-)
But yeah, I find England puts me on edge most of the time, and unfortunately, I don't find it fascinating, just tiring. But again, I'm living here indefinitely, which is very different from knowing you're leaving again in a certain space of time. I could end up being stuck here for life! ;-)
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Date: 2008-02-07 04:36 pm (UTC)Maybe a bit of both. I'm not sure. Canada is, I think, a sort of midpoint culturally between the US and the UK, so it makes sense I'd be okay there.
But again, I'm living here indefinitely, which is very different from knowing you're leaving again in a certain space of time. I could end up being stuck here for life! ;-)
I was wishing that would happen to me, but I never found a way.
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Date: 2008-02-08 11:51 am (UTC).I was wishing that would happen to me, but I never found a way.
And of course, in a lot of ways I'm really wishing that it won't.
Life is a strange thing! ;-)
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Date: 2008-02-08 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-08 02:19 pm (UTC)Yeah. Hence the popularity of alternate history/reality genres! ;-)
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Date: 2008-02-08 02:22 pm (UTC)