FIC: Doctor Who and Torchwood: "Return"

[fajrdrako]

Title: Return
Author: fajrdrako
Fandom/Characters: Doctor Who and Torchwood - Jack/Ten
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, no claims, all property of the BBC.
Notes: Written in answer to a 'first kiss' challenge from fandom_me, who asked that I write a Jack/Ten kiss. Set after "The Parting of the Ways" and first series Torchwood, so contains spoilers for all of that; the rest is speculation. Cross-posted to doctorslashjack, dwfiction, and my LJ.


Return

There he was, Jack Harkness, large as life and twice as beautiful, walking into the TARDIS as if he belonged there. Jack still had his TARDIS key, kept at goodness knows what cost for all this time.

The Doctor knew he had ruined Jack's life; broken his heart; left him to die alone. The Doctor was a master of words, but no words could cover that in any language the TARDIS had ever discovered. He did not dare say the words aching inside him: Forgive me.

He had never before known Jack to be at a loss for words, but Jack too was silent, staring at him with dark, unreadable eyes. For all his immortality, he looked older now, aged in spirit. Aged by pain. It twisted the Doctor's heart to see it.

Did Jack have any idea, could he have any idea, how infinitely he was loved?

The worst irony was that, if Jack had any inkling of it, the cruelty was compounded.

Unless Jack spoke, or unless the Doctor touched him, the Doctor had no way of knowing what Jack was thinking. He remembered how Jack had been on that trip to Kyoto, how happy he was, how open; so willing to speak his every thought, lascivious or otherwise. There had been so much laughter.

The laughter was now burned out of Jack. The Doctor wanted to say, "I know you suffered. It was my fault. I am doomed to destroy what I love." He couldn't say it because words were inadequate, and because it would smack of self-pity, hint at his own pain, and nothing could be more unfair. The Doctor's punishment - a portion of it - was to know that he did not deserve Jack's forgiveness or his pity and must not ask for either.

Equally impossible to make light of it, to joke, to carry on as if it never happened.

Were Jack's black eyes accusing him? Begging? Worst possibility of all - why had he even dared to think it? - was that all that pain had destroyed Jack's soul, that the Jack he had once known was gone forever, no longer a story-maker; incapable now of laughter and loving.

He'd rather Jack hated him. Indifference was another kind of death.

"Jack," he said, to break the silence.

Jack's mouth twisted so his face was half-dimpled. "Doctor."

The Doctor struggled to find something else to say, discarded all possibilities, and simply stared as Jack walked up to him and took his face in both hands, and kissed him hard on the mouth.

A wave of pleasure and love washed over him. Jack saw nothing to forgive, nothing to blame, nothing to question. Jack just saw the love.

The kiss lasted an eternity. Then Jack grinned. "Been waiting for that for a very long time."

"Welcome back," said the Doctor.

Comments

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

Oh.

OH.

That's lovely. That's so much too much to hope for from 'Utopia'. *sigh* I loved the Doctor's turmoil, his fears and guilt, and that it's Jack who makes the first move - for all the pain and anger, there's such a longing when he talks about 'the right kind of doctor' that I can't see it going any other way than forgiveness and acceptance. *crosses fingers*

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

That's so much too much to hope for from 'Utopia'. *sigh*

I decided to give it all my best spin (with my preferred explanations as background, though I didn't particularly go into it in this ficlet)... before the show goes and josses me.

I loved the Doctor's turmoil, his fears and guilt

What I was trying to show was that (despite all Jack's suffering), it was the Doctor that was going through the pain and guilt because of what had happened, and that Jack was so glad to see him again, and so glad that the Doctor was accepting of him again, that none of the rest mattered to him.

or all the pain and anger, there's such a longing when he talks about 'the right kind of doctor' that I can't see it going any other way than forgiveness and acceptance.

Jack has already proved he has a talent for forgiving - Owen shot him in the head point blank! And a talent for loving, too. And all the evidence we have from Torchwood, including the lines about the Doctor and his attitude to the hand, make it sound to me as if Jack loves the Doctor still - he just desperately needs and explanation, which I believe he will be getting. So. I live in hope.

[jwaneeta.livejournal.com]

That was perfectly lovely. There was perfection and loveliness in abundance. Adored this!

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad! What wonderful comments. I am chuffed. Thank you.

[raissad.livejournal.com]

Wonderful!

Eisode 8 Of Animated DW:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPXPHdISBWU&NR=1

Behind-The-Scenes Of Ep. 8:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz_BO1P7_QA&NR=1

Btw, if you look on YT, there are Behind-The-Scenes features on a number of the regular eps., as well.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Looking forward to these.

[magika83.livejournal.com]

If only the real thing could be like this. Lovely.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks so much for saying so.

I'm hoping the real thing, when we see it, will be lovely in its own way. I like to think that Russell T. Davies likes the warm relationship between Jack and the Doctor, and won't entirely drop it.

[atheneunknown.livejournal.com]

I love this deeply. So sweet and honest.

I have a theory...of why Jack was left behind, that is, if the Doctor even knew he was alive.

And this is it...just because I'd like to hear your thoughts on it...

I think the Doctor knew instinctively, that if Jack were allowed back on the TARDIS, that he'd never want to leave it. He'd stay with the Doctor forever, and not take care of other things that were meant to happen in his timeline.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I'm delighted that you liked it.

the Doctor knew instinctively, that if Jack were allowed back on the TARDIS, that he'd never want to leave it.

I don't think Jack made much of a secret of the fact that he'd like to stay forever! (like Rose.)

He'd stay with the Doctor forever, and not take care of other things that were meant to happen in his timeline.

Could well be, though I'm not sure that covers the action in the "Utopia" trailer.... Well, we shall see.

Perhaps there was something Jack was supposed to accomplish?

I think it's more likely that he was supposed to be dead, and Rose created a dangerous alternate timeline.

I'm getting impatient for the 'real' explanation!