Yes. I've seen people get into trouble spreading their love too widely - intending no harm, but in the end, causing it.
Generally speaking, I think people don't love enough, out of fear and various other motives - like being judgemental rather than accepting. Love is usually a very life-enhancing emotion if you don't approach it egotistically or selfishly.
I have a bit of a problem with the abstract concept 'love of mankind'. I tend to feel it is so often a meaningless cry. I've met several people who claimed to have love for mankind as their leading principle utterly lack in love for the people around them. (not that I for a moment claim that is the case with you). Love for people around you, the one you know and the one you do not (yet) know, now that is also a broad concept but at least a bit more concrete than mankind. (For a philosopher I have a strong suspicion of abstract concepts *grin*)
Granted. I am trying to feel it as something else. I look around - particuarly at the media, where vaguely malicious gossip and sensationalism seem to common they're taken for granted - and I see people being veyr judgemental of each other, and I want to just ... change all that.
Maybe it's just the mood I'm in. There just doesn't seem to be enough kindness floating around. Why not? Being kind doesn't cost anything. Putting yourself in the other person's place doesn't take much mental effort. Giving people the benefit of the doubt - why not?
The alternative - being insular and paranoid - can be damaging to the spirit.
Or maybe it's just the mood I'm in?
Okay, call it love of people, not love of mankind. I have no particular fondness for the word.
Being kind doesn't cost anything. Putting yourself in the other person's place doesn't take much mental effort.
mmm, I don't think that is realy so, not just for everyone at least. The more introvert you are, the more effort it costs to give your attention and energy and kindness to the people around you. I know when I am depressed I am a far from nice and pleasant person, while I can be outgoing, friendly supportive for people around me when I feel well. For other people being introvert is even more a part of their personality, not dependent on mood. No matter how much I would wish people to be nicer to one and other, I don't think everyone has it in her/him to be so. (though I do think there is such a thing as a general atmosphere in a place that can promote or dampen peoples inclination to be friendly)
All you say is true, but I'm not trying to change other people, I'm just trying to change myself. In ways I can. If I can be kinder and more caring about others, that's the whole point, regardless of whether other people could do the same.
I couldn't have done this when I was depressed, but I'm not depressed any more. It's amazing what a difference it makes.
striving to be nice and friendly and helpfull to the people around is a good thing. I agree with that. I am just wary of having to do it all the time ;-)
And yes, I totally degree, the difference between depressed and not depressed is amazing. I do still dip into depression a few times a month (not the blues but the crippling version), going in and out of it presses your nose on the difference it makes all the time. (I actually think I am rarely completely out of it, for I feel it breathing down my neck)
I am just wary of having to do it all the time ;-)
The joy of self-directed exercises like this is that I don't need to make it stressful. Just... an attitude to remember. Not a rule to follow.
As I was recovering from depression, I found that fear of depression haunted me. Practically any negative thought would panic me - "Is it coming back?" - and that was horrible, but I think it was also a stage I had to go through. It's been long enough now that I've lost that intermittent fear, thank goodness.
oh, it is more than the fear that comes from recovery of depression. It is in fact really the tentacles of depressions. I can feel the difference, had enough experience I fear. *sigh*
Well, yes, that is what I meant - you're still coping with the real thing, I was trying to readjust through the recovery period, to get over the fear. I don't mean there was any confusion about the difference - it was just fear.
well the fear of depression can be painfull and threatening enough. It is important to steal yourself and not let it become a self fulfilling prophecy somehow.
Enfin, I was just trying to say that what might wel be easy orrelatively easy for one (spreading ones love around) might be very hard for someone else (temporarily due to depression or illness or structurally due to ones character). I am hesitant for sweeping statements that judge people because they are different from what we want to be. Just to say it is important to realise people are different in all sorts of ways. ;-)
I hope you're having nice weather - we have a beautiful sunny day here and I'm about to go and do my shopping. If I had a garden, I'd be working in it.
glad you are having nice weather yourself at last!! I was starting to feel guilty for hogging it ;-)
The weather here was pleasant but less hot than the last weeks. Rain is predicted. That GOOD! our plants and our farmers are suffering from draught. Luckily it is still early in season and the mornings are still humid with morning dew otherwise my garden might have collapsed. I've worked in my garden, bought one of these pots, specialy designed for strawberries, you know, with openings where a plantcan peep out. Filled it, watered my garden, stuff like that. Am curious to see if I can get a decent harvest this way. Earlier attempt with strawberry plants straight in the ground were no sucess.
Well, it's beautiful now - sunny skies, tulips in bloom just in time for the Tulip Festival, warm temperatures but not too hot - perfect! I don't know how long this will last but it's to be treasured while we have it.
Good luck with the strawberries. It must be wonderful to be able to grow them. There isn't much I love more than strawberries - both for looks as a plant and for taste as a fruit.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 03:50 pm (UTC)And sometimes they come together! *beam*
no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 06:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 06:32 pm (UTC)Generally speaking, I think people don't love enough, out of fear and various other motives - like being judgemental rather than accepting. Love is usually a very life-enhancing emotion if you don't approach it egotistically or selfishly.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 06:42 pm (UTC)I have room for some romantic love. Friendship and familial love are covered...
no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 06:55 pm (UTC)Love for people around you, the one you know and the one you do not (yet) know, now that is also a broad concept but at least a bit more concrete than mankind. (For a philosopher I have a strong suspicion of abstract concepts *grin*)
no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 07:05 pm (UTC)Granted. I am trying to feel it as something else. I look around - particuarly at the media, where vaguely malicious gossip and sensationalism seem to common they're taken for granted - and I see people being veyr judgemental of each other, and I want to just ... change all that.
Maybe it's just the mood I'm in. There just doesn't seem to be enough kindness floating around. Why not? Being kind doesn't cost anything. Putting yourself in the other person's place doesn't take much mental effort. Giving people the benefit of the doubt - why not?
The alternative - being insular and paranoid - can be damaging to the spirit.
Or maybe it's just the mood I'm in?
Okay, call it love of people, not love of mankind. I have no particular fondness for the word.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 09:24 pm (UTC)mmm, I don't think that is realy so, not just for everyone at least. The more introvert you are, the more effort it costs to give your attention and energy and kindness to the people around you. I know when I am depressed I am a far from nice and pleasant person, while I can be outgoing, friendly supportive for people around me when I feel well. For other people being introvert is even more a part of their personality, not dependent on mood.
No matter how much I would wish people to be nicer to one and other, I don't think everyone has it in her/him to be so. (though I do think there is such a thing as a general atmosphere in a place that can promote or dampen peoples inclination to be friendly)
no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 10:20 pm (UTC)I couldn't have done this when I was depressed, but I'm not depressed any more. It's amazing what a difference it makes.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-05 10:40 am (UTC)And yes, I totally degree, the difference between depressed and not depressed is amazing. I do still dip into depression a few times a month (not the blues but the crippling version), going in and out of it presses your nose on the difference it makes all the time. (I actually think I am rarely completely out of it, for I feel it breathing down my neck)
no subject
Date: 2007-05-05 11:22 am (UTC)The joy of self-directed exercises like this is that I don't need to make it stressful. Just... an attitude to remember. Not a rule to follow.
As I was recovering from depression, I found that fear of depression haunted me. Practically any negative thought would panic me - "Is it coming back?" - and that was horrible, but I think it was also a stage I had to go through. It's been long enough now that I've lost that intermittent fear, thank goodness.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-05 12:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-05 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-05 02:13 pm (UTC)Enfin, I was just trying to say that what might wel be easy orrelatively easy for one (spreading ones love around) might be very hard for someone else (temporarily due to depression or illness or structurally due to ones character). I am hesitant for sweeping statements that judge people because they are different from what we want to be. Just to say it is important to realise people are different in all sorts of ways. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2007-05-05 02:16 pm (UTC)I agree. We each do, or try to do, what we think or hope we might be capable of.
I am hesitant for sweeping statements that judge people
Exactly my point - that we shouldn't be judging others. It's tricky enough to be judging ourselves.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-05 03:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-05 03:48 pm (UTC)I hope you're having nice weather - we have a beautiful sunny day here and I'm about to go and do my shopping. If I had a garden, I'd be working in it.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-05 06:18 pm (UTC)The weather here was pleasant but less hot than the last weeks. Rain is predicted. That GOOD! our plants and our farmers are suffering from draught. Luckily it is still early in season and the mornings are still humid with morning dew otherwise my garden might have collapsed.
I've worked in my garden, bought one of these pots, specialy designed for strawberries, you know, with openings where a plantcan peep out. Filled it, watered my garden, stuff like that. Am curious to see if I can get a decent harvest this way. Earlier attempt with strawberry plants straight in the ground were no sucess.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-06 06:54 pm (UTC)Well, it's beautiful now - sunny skies, tulips in bloom just in time for the Tulip Festival, warm temperatures but not too hot - perfect! I don't know how long this will last but it's to be treasured while we have it.
Good luck with the strawberries. It must be wonderful to be able to grow them. There isn't much I love more than strawberries - both for looks as a plant and for taste as a fruit.