FIC Torchwood (poem) - Silence

[fajrdrako]

Title: Silence
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: fajrdrako
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Genre: Poem #9
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, no claims, all property of the BBC.
Notes: Possible spoiler for episodes up to "Combat", but meant to be in the timeframe of "Random Shoes". Gwen's voice. Cross-posted to my LJ and torch_wood. With thanks to damalan and fatchickengirl for inventing the form.


Silence

Rhys doesn't know about Torchwood,
And I'm not telling him one thing.
"Need to know" doesn't cover it.
Don't ask me what I did today,
(Owen's bed and Owen's body)
Money can't buy this excitement.

So love me and comfort me, Rhys,
He'll never give me such kindness.
Only you can forgive my need:
Endless challenge. At home we share
Solace, contentment, peace, and lies.

~ ~ ~

Eighth in a series following Endings and Beginnings, Notes for Gwen Cooper, Time Present, Camping, Jasmine and Consuming, Mary and Danger Man.


~ ~ ~

Comments

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

lovers give different things, one need different things, secrecy can be one of them. Lets not be double about it, it is exciting.

I don't find it in me to condemn Gwen (not feeling much better, at certain times in my life). I do think it is a way of behaviour that might cost her, Getting things too mixed up, costing too much energy even too many rejections or the ones that are realy hard, the ones that realy matter.

But I won't call her a slut or anything like that as I saw on the Torchwood list in reply to your poem.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Lets not be double about it, it is exciting.

Definitely. Gwen thrives on excitement, and playing on the edge, emotionally. She likes factors of discovery (and self-discovery) and risk. She gets obsessive about goals - wrapped up in what she's doing, and what she's pursuing.

"Slut" is a funny word. It can be a condemnation or a compliment - when I was calling the flirty Doctor in "Smith and Jones" an 'alien slutboy' I wasn't being critical of him, I loved it. This being a sexist world, people are more likely to mean it's a bad thing when referring to a woman, but I'm not about to fall into that trap! The Mirriam-Webster online dictionary definition "a promiscuous woman, a prostitute, a slovenly woman" but I prefer the Chamber's take on it: "a woman who regularly engages in casual sex". Gwen likes sex, and enjoys being tempted by it, and enjoys giving in to that temptation. She finds sex exciting. Well, I certainly can't blame her for that! So do I.

But there are prices to pay under the circumstances - she may be hurt, Rhys will be hurt. She might even lose him. The honest thing would be to tell Rhys she wants an open relationship, tell him about her affair with Owen, maybe even tell him about her attraction to Jack, and see if he still wants her on that basis. He might love her still. She has a lot to lose, there, but the alternative - for Rhys to discover she has deceived him, and with whom, and why - would be disastrous.

I like Gwen a lot. She has some of the same weaknesses I do. Dishonesty, though, is a flaw we don't share.

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

I am all for empowering readings of denigatory words, but somehow I am afraid that the people who call Gwen a slut don't mean it that way.

And I do agree about the prices. But being faithfull to Rhys may also have its prices, she might become bitter because of missed chances. Bitterness is a nasty feeling as welll. You are right that the open and honest thing would be to bring up the possibility of an open relationship with Rhys, but that is scary. And it would take away the fun of secrecy. And as you said, she seems to like that, even in a non sexual context.
BTW I do dislike the idea that characters ought to be perfect. I sometimes get the impression that is what fans want. I mean, I want the program to stay realistic!! Weevils and Slytheen are all very well, but humans who are without flaws!!

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I am afraid that the people who call Gwen a slut don't mean it

Alas, no. When I used the term for the Doctor I mean he's appealing. Using it for Gwen (human slut-girl?) just doesn't have the right connotations.

being faithfull to Rhys may also have its prices, she might become bitter because of missed chances.

I'm not even sure that's an option for her - that is, I think she needs something that Rhys can't give her, whatever it may be, and trying to be the partner he wants, needs, and probably deserves, would just be too depressing. And pointless. She can't change her nature, nor should she.

You are right that the open and honest thing would be to bring up the possibility of an open relationship with Rhys, but that is scary.

Yes. Most men are not so willing to give their partner freedom, especially when the had been expecting fidelity. I'd say the odds are that she'd lose him.

it would take away the fun of secrecy. And as you said, she seems to like that, even in a non sexual context.

Yes. I think she loves the secrecy of Torchwood, loves the mysteries surrounding Jack, loves being part of something so covert.

I do dislike the idea that characters ought to be perfect. I sometimes get the impression that is what fans want. I mean, I want the program to stay realistic!

No one is really perfect, and everyone judges characters by different standards. All characters should be imperfect, but there are some whose imperfections are more attractive than others. I don't much like Owen's character flaws, which is both cause and effect of my not liking Owen himself. I like Gwen's flaws (and can empathize with them even when I can't approve), and I love Jack's flaws.

[damalan.livejournal.com]

That's good - capturing Gwen's messed up relationship with Rhys. Interesting you choose to highlight this in the episode where she meets yet another man who falls in love with her. You have to wonder how Gwen would respond if the alien eye had instead returned Eugene to life... another lover? ;-)

Gwen is quite realistic in her messed up way - I've known people like her, who crave new experiences but convince themselves that really they are faithful. I will be interested to see how this develops now she's seen Rhys die.

Shows just how much you've encapsulated in just 88 syllables! :)

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Interesting you choose to highlight this in the episode where she meets yet another man who falls in love with her.

Well, that was the train of thought that led me to it. Gwen is so very much highlighted in "Random Shoes". Thinking about this gave me, I think, more insight into her, and her parallels with Jack. (Since he also finds it so easy to return love, and so easy to enjoy sex.)

You have to wonder how Gwen would respond if the alien eye had instead returned Eugene to life... another lover? ;-)

I think Eugene would like that idea! She obviously thought he was sweet. And Owen is just about to dump her.

I've known people like her, who crave new experiences but convince themselves that really they are faithful.

Oh, yes, very realistic.

I will be interested to see how this develops now she's seen Rhys die.

My first impression was that she'll value him more and treat him better. On reflection.... Once Rhys was alive again, her first act was to run to Jack (even though he was dead) and stay there with him for three days. Even when Jack revived, she didn't go running home to Rhys. She hung around, asking Jack about his visions and his feelings, looking for him when he disappeared. If she was waiting around for a cup of coffee, she could have gone home and had it there!

So I'd say her heart is more with Torchwood in general and Jack in particular than with Rhys, and that doesn't bode well for the happy home life.

We shall see.

[raissad.livejournal.com]

She needs to do the kind thing and break with Rhys. Gwen's motivations aside, he just doesn't deserve this.

Another cool poem. :) Again, you definenately caught her voice.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Gwen's motivations aside, he just doesn't deserve this.

I have this fear that she will break his heart.

Thank you so much for the nice comments.