Yes. This has been a problem with me - maybe not in a big way, but something I wrestle with. I have the character flaw of wanting to love everyone and wanting everyone to love me, and that sometimes means catering to their hopes, values and expectations in ways that are untrue to myself. Remembering that I don't need to do this, that it's better if people like me for myself and therefore it's better to know myself and be true to that knowledge - well, it's something I'm trying hard to achieve.
Yup: I know this feeling, I think possibly because I spent quite a lot of my childhood on the receiving-end of bullying. At university, I was able to meet people with whom I had a lot in common, but many of us have gone our separate ways since, and spending long periods out of work, I wasn't meeting new people. Only with the www have I been able to find an on-line 'family' of my own, regardless of distance. But I find breaking off friendships difficult, even when they died or have even become damaging. Earlier this year, I finally broke with a couple I'd known for 19 years: the friendship had been on life-support for years, but when I finally realised they'd been looking down on me as a morally inferior being for years, I wasn't prepared to accept that.
The net is wonderful for finding people of like minds. People who like Doctor Who and Outremer, for example! I'm not good at breaking with people either, though I'm also not always good at keeping in touch - and I really appreciate it when other people are, for that reason.
As for people who find us morally inferior - we don't need anyone who thinks that in our lives!
The net is wonderful for finding people of like minds. People who like Doctor Who and Outremer, for example!
I love the fact it has no geographical bounds! It's also how I found the Circolo Culturale in Monferrato!
As for people who find us morally inferior - we don't need anyone who thinks that in our lives!
Yes! I'm not good at letting go of the 'safety net' of a friendship - but once you realise that someone despises you, well, that's too much. The only other thing that has made me break with people is 'psychic vampirism' - when someone is sucking you of energy, when a friendship becomes so one-sided, that the other person isn't giving anything back.
A world without geographical bounds is the world for me. All I need is a transmat beam and a TARDIS to go with my Internet and I'll be all set. (Pause to wonder whether the hordes of Genghis Khan will be pounding at my door. Possibly not. What do I have that Ghenghis Khan would want? My comic book collection?)
I have friends whose behaviour has made me back off, but not often.
As it would be to me too ... it's a *large* part of the reason why I hate office politics, but I also got an extra helping of it while I was in England. Not for nothing do I refer to the lady I lived with as "Red Queen."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-12-29 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-29 05:18 pm (UTC)So the random resolution is really very apropos.
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Date: 2006-12-29 05:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-29 06:38 pm (UTC)As for people who find us morally inferior - we don't need anyone who thinks that in our lives!
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Date: 2006-12-29 08:09 pm (UTC)I love the fact it has no geographical bounds! It's also how I found the Circolo Culturale in Monferrato!
As for people who find us morally inferior - we don't need anyone who thinks that in our lives!
Yes! I'm not good at letting go of the 'safety net' of a friendship - but once you realise that someone despises you, well, that's too much. The only other thing that has made me break with people is 'psychic vampirism' - when someone is sucking you of energy, when a friendship becomes so one-sided, that the other person isn't giving anything back.
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Date: 2006-12-29 08:28 pm (UTC)I have friends whose behaviour has made me back off, but not often.
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Date: 2006-12-29 08:38 pm (UTC)Quite possibly: something to wile away the winter with, stuck in his yurt?
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Date: 2006-12-29 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-29 06:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-29 06:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-29 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-29 09:34 pm (UTC)