Change...

[fajrdrako]

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not. - James Gordon

I assume this is not the Jim Gordon of Batman comics. Or maybe it is - it's the kind of thing he might say!

So do I think it is true? I think it is... interesting to think about. What makes it possible for some people to change in certain ways, and others not at all? Or is it that sometimes any individual will be willing and able to change and at other times, not? How much control do we have over our personalities and our lives? I hope and believe I can change myself for the better, in ways I want to change; but I don't think for a moment I'll be able to change my basic personality patterns. Nor would I want to.

Is that always true?

Comments

[majkia.livejournal.com]

I've worked on a crisis hotline for more than 20 years and talked to any number of people who say they want to change yet who remain stuck in the same place for year after year.

I do believe people can change. But the only changes they will make are those they themselves decide they want to do. No matter how hard someone else pushes them to change, they will simply not move on or up until they are ready and recognize that the change is for their own reasons.

But that is behaviour and the way they think, not basic stuff like who and what they are. That will not change. The best we can hope for is to help them find a way to recognize behaviours that are making their lives lousy and help them change that behaviour. And possibly come to love themselves as they are, so they can stop self-sabotaging their lives.

[(Anonymous)]

the only changes they will make are those they themselves decide they want to do.

I truly believe that, but even saying it makes it sound simpler than it is. Suppose a person wants to lose 20 pounds; the desire doesn't automatically come with a desire to go hungry. It becomes a conflict of desires.

I think part of the problem is that goals tend to be intellectually articulable; they're plans, they're concrete ideas that people can express. While our lives are made up of ticks and quirks of the subconscious and whatever is deeper than the subconscious - neurochemical programming that goes back to the dawn of life and is impossible to identify, let alone control. Ever tried to stop biting your fingernails? ...But it's easier for some than others.

And what we are, however that is determined, is a very complex thing.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Oops, sorry majkia, that last comment was mine. I forgot that this machine automatically logs me out!

[sollersuk.livejournal.com]

It affects everyday life and academic research.

"A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up which is familiar with it" (Max Planck)

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Oh, what a wonderful quote! I knew there was a reason I loved Max Planck. That is so true.