Firefly fic: "Red Dreams"

[fajrdrako]

This is for thamiris's colour challenge. I think I may be too late for it, but I wrote it anyway. No, not because I'm bored, goodness knows, I've a zillion things to do and other stories in progress. Just because I want to.

Title: Red Dreams
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Rating: PG-13
Colour: Red



~ ~ ~

Red Dreams

Sometimes Jayne dreamed of red. Every time he did, it was worse than the time before.

He tapped at the Captain's door. It was maybe two, three a.m., Jayne wasn't sure which.

"Who is it?" The Captain's voice had the tone that meant he'd been asleep, and woke up fast in case there was an emergency, the way captains had to do sometimes.

Jayne wasn't sure the Captain would think this was an emergency. "It's me. Jayne."

"Come on down," said the Captain, and the door slid open. Jayne climbed down. Mal was in his bed, sitting up a little now, his reading light on, giving the room a reddish glow. His eyes had a sleepy look, like a man just pulled out of hard-earned sleep. It was a good look on him. He was naked, which looked good too, always did, and Jayne liked it that the Captain wasn't shy about his body. It was the kind of body Jayne liked best, strong and supple at the same time, and scarred, too, which showed he'd done some living.

"What's wrong?" said Mal sharply, seeing the look on Jayne's face and his trembling hands.

"Nothin', really." Jayne sat on the Captain's bed, put his head in his hands. "Got the jitters. I think I'm goin' crazy. I had a dream."

Mal put a hand on Jayne's shoulder. It was comforting. "Dreams won't hurt you. Even bad dreams. Forget it, Jayne."

"I can't. There was blood. Too much blood. Not mine. It was everywhere, even in my hair, on my face. I'd killed Simon 'n' River, and they wouldn't stop bleeding on me. Then I thought I woke up, and they were alive and all friendly, and then I saw the blood still on my hands." He held up his hands, clean as they could be. In the red light of Mal's lamp, they looked red still. "Blood. Nuttin' but blood."

"You didn't kill them," said Mal. Jayne knew he didn't need to sound as kind as he did. He could have kicked Jayne's ass, kicked him out, tossed him out an airlock like he probably deserved. Instead Mal's hand stroked Jayne's shoulder, then his back. "You wouldn't kill them. You're a better man than that."

"I almost sold 'em out, Mal. You know it. That's worse'n killing them."

"You wouldn't do it now."

"That time... would you of spaced me, really?"

"Damn right."

The world was shifting again, falling into place, as it always did with the Captain. The red light was almost friendly now, like in some whorehouses. Only it was wrong to think of the Captain's bed that way, because he was the Captain. Jayne blushed with shame, even though he had none.

Jayne fell into the bed, cuddling, held securely in Mal's arms. "You're a good man," he murmured, against Mal's warm neck.

"No, I'm not! I'm a bad man. A very bad man. I just can't get any of you stubborn louts to admit it."

Jayne was beginning to think he might be able to sleep again, here, now. Secure with the Captain, he wouldn't be having bad dreams, red dreams. Blood was red. So were hearts, and valentines, and the Ace of Diamonds, and that pretty thing Inara had been wearing yesterday.

Dreaming of red, Jayne smiled inside his dream, and slept on.

~ ~ ~