Birthdays...

[fajrdrako]

Last night I was at a surprise birthday party for my friend Donna - who turned 50. The party was orchestrated by her husband Jim, whom I also like. She was completely blown away by surprise. We all had a wonderful time.

One of her gifts was the Canadian Herstory date book for 2004. Each day has a short article about a Canadian woman - not hugely famous ones, but people who have dones something significant, like a woman in Toronto who has written/drawn a comic book about date rape, and another one in the early 19th century who became a firefighter in Halifax.

Here I was, sitting at the table in a restaurant wanting to read all the entries, and realizing how rude I was being. So I stopped. Even reading half a dozen of them made me feel like an underachiever. What have I done to change the world? Not much. Not enough. But even the fact that I feel ... unsettled ... by this is something to think about in terms of self-awareness.

I enjoyed the company. Donna's family are delightful, particularly her mother. Besides family (both Donna's and Jim's) there were friends of Donna's from work, and friends from her gaming groups, and friends from her choir.

Her stepdaughter-in-law Jennifer sat next to me, an attractive pregnant woman with one of the most beautiful necklaces I have ever seen: criscrossing wire strands with irregular bits of amber on them. She's an anthropologist who got her degree at Cambridge (which she said was as wonderful as you'd think it would be) and has lived in Brazil and Ghana. In Ghana, she said, it's difficult to overcome the cultural differences and the racial consciousness.

Since I was mostly sitting with those of Donna's friends who are my friends too (Tasia and Peter and Beulah), I didn't get much chance to talk to the other people I didn't know, but they all seemed interesting and friendly. Unless that was because I drank rum (the influence of Jack Sparrow) in the form of a pina colada, and then let the waiter refill my wine glass a few times. I am not accustomed to that. Ayurvedic, it isn't. But it was fun.

Donna got a neat present where things were in a decoraed paper bag with strings attached to tags hanging out of the bag, to pull out one by one. The tags said things like "when you're really beyond it" (the string was attached to a denture brush and case) - various items of dubious or definite usefulness (including candy) with funny but ambiguous comments or instructions on the tag. Two different people gave her gift certificates for Chapters - I was one of them. She said she was going to buy Ann Marie MacDonald's new novel, but two people gave her that, so she doesn't need to! She and Beulah got into a discussion of the previous novel, which Donna said was her favourite book ever and Beulah said she'd hated it. What an interesting discussion - it made me want to read it more than all the publicity I'd heard.

Comments

[katkim.livejournal.com]

Even reading half a dozen of them made me feel like an underachiever. What have I done to change the world? Not much. Not enough.

You're being to hard on yourself, we can't *all* find the cure for cancer. And going back to your post when you got three emails. The people who sent them may not think it was significant, but it was to you. Reverse the situation, because I'm sure you brightened someone's day when you said thank you with a smile, or given thought to a present, given sincere advice, emailed a friend out of the blue to say "Hi, we haven't chatted in a while, I miss you". It probably didn't change the whole world, but it changed theirs. Isn't that enough? You may not think so, but I'm sure that person does :)

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Yes, you're quite right, and the rational part of my brain says the same thing. But part of me wants to do... better. More. Or at least be stronger.

On the other hand, I am glad I'm not weaker, too. (g) It's all in the perspective.

Thanks for the sensible thoughts!

[katkim.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm a UN brat, and growing up I was surrounded by people who wanted to change the world, or at least how he world is run. And there's one thing I've learned that's more important than anything. It's sincerity. I've met some people who've be there and done the 'more' part. But only because it's there job and they're getting highly paid for it. Or for influence, for Power, for a distinguished career and they just wnat to make a name for themselves. Or simple for something to do. Some people just fall into it.

I don't know, maybe I'm cynical but I just wanted to say, that some people do good things but it's a by-product. And then there are people who do good things, because they're good. I think the second category tends to be the better and the stronger, even if it's their contribution is the least. It's difficult to compare.

Ok, I'm going stop my rambling. (what am I trying to say? I don't know ^_^) But *hugs* anyway.

[acampbell.livejournal.com]

It sounds like a wonderful evening. Now, next time, order a daiquiri. You're supposed to be trying all the rum-based drinks, you know! *g*

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Yes - the problem is, I keep forgetting what they are when I'm in the restaurant! I should take my list with me.