Give it Up...

[fajrdrako]

I read a nicely-written book: Give It Up: My Year of Learning to Live Better with Less by Mary Carlomagno. It caught my eye because I love her name - it's the Italian translation of "Charlemagne" - and because I'm into themes of simplicity. Uncluttering metaphorically as well as literally.

It was, in fact, a delightful read. But... useless. The theme: Mary Carlomagno gave up one thing each month for a year. It wasn't cumulative: she gave up smoking, for example, for a month, and then went back to smoking. It was like giving things up for Lent, which is what inspired her - not giving things up permanently.

Then look at the things she gave up. I couldn't give up any of them, I don't think - and if I did, who would notice the difference? She gave up alcohol, newspapers, shopping, dining out, taxis, cell phones and television. I don't have alcohol more than a couple of times per year. I seldom read newspapers, especially since they have become sensationalist entertainment. I shop when I must, but not often. Certainly not every month, unless we're talking about groceries, which she wasn't. Taxis? I can't recall the last time I took a taxi - probably during my last trip to Stratford. I walk. I take the bus. I go places with friends in their cars. I only take taxis when travelling. I don't have a cell phone. It isn't any kind of virtue here - I'm just not into those things. That leaves television - and I wouldn't want to be without my fannish favourites; don't have time to watch much else anyway. Eating out? My favourite and most extravagant pleasure! But I like to think I don't do it in an extravagant way.

But I could give up eating out for a month. Giving up comic books? That would be a real challenge, and I don't plan on trying it. But she doesn't talk about that. I suppose I could give up libraries, or visiting friends, or (shudder) reading and writing Livejournal - but I can't think of any reason I should! Just to prove I could? I love these things, and I do them because I love them. I think that's a terrific reason to do them.

All in all, her choices of 'what to give up' reflected a lifestyle and tastes very unlike mine, and a general sense of life in New York that seems pleasantly foreign to me, like reading about Nick and Nora Charles, or Dorothy Parker.

Despite all this, it was fun to read Mary Carlomagno's commentary on life and the things she does. There's a friendly reflectiveness to it all. Very readable.

Comments

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I don't know how much I could give up and not just end up sitting on my sofa, staring at the wall :D

Smoking yes - and am trying. And that will be forever when I do.

We don't subscribe to newspapers/magazines - but I read online. And seeing as it's an election year coming up, I won't be stopping. MUST HAVE POLITICAL NEWS.

Internet? Not gonna happen :D (especially since hubby and I both work via it)

Cell Phone? It's my *main* phone - and I get about 2 calls/week, make about 3 :D

Eating out? We've already pared down to about 3 times/month, one of those being before fishclub meeting when we meet up w/ friends.

We've simplified our lives hugely over the years, to our benefit. But what's left is the stuff we ENJOY, ya know?

[tudorpot.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched tv since July, don't miss it much, but will start again for Masterpiece theatre Austen series. I pick up day old newspapers for the fire- occasionally read a section but follow the news online with BBC and CBC feeds. My cell phone is just for travel safety. I have to have a car due to location and work. I'm not giving up books, bubble baths and good food. Nor will I give up luxurious bedding and fluffy pillows or my dishwasher.

[wijsgeer.livejournal.com]

Doesn't it depend on the purpose you have for eliminating products/habits? Personaly the motivation of being less of environmental burden. That is a reason I've eaten strictly vegetarian for years (now I do eat meat on occasions). But sometimes you can go to far. Your good and considered reason can get caught up with depressed feelings of guilt. So did I live for a winter without heating, because I tought I wasn't worth it thinking of all the people who lived in colder areas without heating. When I was home I sat in a corner with several sweaters and and a blanket around me. I believe no that I was going to far.
An other, very pragmatical reason I live frugal, is that I just have little money. My two big extravanceses are my internet connection and my garden. Oh and my gym. But sport is good for you isn't it? It is certainly on of the things in my depression-management and I have decided that I should not cut down on that. Oh, an other extravagance, I go for drinks (1 or 2) once a week. I don't go out (music or lectures for free).
I do have a cellphone (but prepaid, so I only pay for the calls I make, no subscription fees) but no TV.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm... like the idea, but much of what she gives up is what I've already given up... and the idea of giving it up for just a month is kind of pointless, money-saving-wise!

[halfspokenwords.livejournal.com]

I can see some small merit in picking things to give up for a month "just to see if I can do it" or as a prelude to a permanent reduction, but otherwise it does seem to be rather pointless. Giving up things for the sake of giving them up briefly, and not as part as some larger change, is... superficial. (Well, except that I suspect she saved a fair amount of money that year. But again, that's motivation.)

I agree with you, too, about her choices. Unless she was concerned about money, they don't mesh with my life and my concerns. Except smoking and maybe eating out, none of them really apply to health, which is a motivation I could understand. (I've recently started a health-centric 'lifestyle change'.) If instead of giving things up, she started things-- like exercising, eating less processed food, going green, even giving old clothes to goodwill before she bought new-- that too I could understand.

But hers? I don't smoke. I don't drink (again, for health concerns). I don't have a TV. I don't go out, I don't see movies in theaters... For the rest, I practice moderation. I eat out once a month, if that. If I read the news, it's online. I buy clothes in small amounts once or maybe twice a year. I only take taxis when safety is a concern, or rarely for time constraints. My parents bought me my cell phone because again, it's a safety concern-- I am young woman who splits her time between a large city and a college campus which has had a string of rapes recently. I don't have a landline, but I still don't give out my cell number socially because I have no interest in having it cemented to my ear all the time.

Now, I do have my little excesses. I weigh them carefully. I do buy books, but I am getting an MA in literature, so that's required. I go to plays maybe five or six times a year, but why should I give up one of the few things I love? The Internet, I guess, is a big one-- it's included in my rent, so money isn't a concern, but I could probably spend less time on it. But it's social, and I need to have that somewhere. And besides, I don't need to give it up to know that when I want to, I can turn off the computer and read a book or take a walk or find my roommate and ask her about her day.

[silverwhistle.livejournal.com]

I don't believe in the "renunciation is good" kick. There's a holier-than-thou spiritual arrogance, masquerading as 'humility' (which I regard as a very dubious virtue), that tends to go with it. Besides, some of us are too bloody poor to have any kind of enjoyable life at all if we renounced the pleasures we have. Besides, why give up anything you enjoy if it isn't actively dangerous? It's back to that whole nasty ascetic mentality that things that are enjoyable are somehow 'bad'/'sinful', and mortifying the flesh is 'good'. It's warping.

[filkferengi]

It's not just things; it's the memories/baggage attached to them. Remember when Lois talked about re-decorating her bedroom, making it look like a grown-up's room, getting rid of the furniture she'd had since she was 13?

De-cluttering can be emotional, too. For example, I've simplified the holiday rituals enormously: I send fewer cards to folks I care about more, gift more simply, & wrap much less elaborately. It's just one way of cutting down on stress, which is also good for your health.