May 3 birthdays...

[fajrdrako]

Three people I have valued had birthdays on this day.

The first is someone I don't remember ever not knowing - I was probably a baby in arms when I met her. Her name was Mrs. Sheffield, and I never knew her first name.

My family lived in a yellow wood-frame house - a wonderful house, small and cosy. The house across the street belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Sheffield. It was a tiny whitewashed wooden house, way smaller than ours, possibly the tiniest house I have ever been in, with one room downstairs and one room upstairs. Her house always had a peculiar but not unpleasant smell. Linoleum floor. Old-fashioned iron cooking stove. Overstuffed sofa. Framed black and white photos sitting on the tables, of people I didn't know.

Mrs. Sheffield watched me grow up. If I dropped in, she'd talk to me and give me cookies - my mother blamed her for spoiling my appetite. I don't remember what we used to talk about. Television? Life? She used to have comic books around, and I was intrigued by them, even when I was too young to read. Her granddaughter was about a year younger than I was; when she visited, we'd play together. All my memories of Mrs. Sheffield are of friendliness.

Once, she was having heart problems, while sitting on her front porch. She waved me over and had me fetch a nitroglycerin pill for her. She was all right after that. I was glad I was there to help. I was probably about twelve at the time.

In 1967, at the time of the moon landing, my parents rented a colour television and invited some of the neighbours over to watch. It was very exciting. It was the only time I can recall Mrs. Sheffield ever visiting our house.

We moved away from that street when I was eighteen, and I never saw Mrs. Sheffield again. Probably didn't even think about her again, until I heard, through a third or fourth party, that she had died. When I think of her now, it's a fond memory. She was part of my childhood.

I went back to that street last week. Her little white house has been renovated into something a little larger and sturdier, though similar in style, and light green in colour. Our property is now town houses, and the maple threes that used to be in our front yard for climbing are still there, bigger than ever.

Then there was my friend Sheila - not the Sheila who is now hospitalized from a fall, but a woman I met in the local Star Trek club when I was just getting into fandom. She more than anyone else introduced me to slash, to K/S, long before online fandoms existed, back when K/S was all there was. She used to buy slash fanzines and was generous about lending them to me. She encouraged me to write slash myself.

But time went by, and our fannish interests diverged. While I became further immersed in writing slash, going into fandoms like X-Files and The Professionals, she gravitated to other things, and, after a kidney transplant, started devoting most of her spare time to the Kidney Foundation. We met occasionally for dinner at a Chinese buffet.

I remember telling her once that I was writing X-Files slash. She was puzzled. "Who would you slash in X-Files?" she asked, and I thought: Slash fandom lost her now. She doesn't even see it. For her, K/S was all there was.

Of course we remained friends, but her health deteriorated further with diabetes, and she died a few years ago. The funeral was lovely, and a chance to see some of my old friends from the Star Trek club. I treasure my memories of Sheila.

The third person I knew with a birthday on May 3 was Diane - still is Diane, since she remains alive and well, I am happy to say. She has always been far closer to me and far more important, than either Mrs. Sheffield or Sheila. As with Mrs. Sheffield, I couldn't say when I first met Diane - she lived about six houses down the street, literally down the street, because there was a hill between my house and hers. At three years old, it seemed a steep hill, and her house was very far away. I do remember that I already knew her when we were three.

After years of being casual acquaintances and saying 'hi' when we met, things changed when we were about nine. We became best friends, even though we went to different schools at the time - initially playing with Barbie dolls together, then going on to more adolescent and teen-age fun, including a long and wonderful role playing game based on The Man from U.N.C.L.E..

Then we went to the same high school. Teachers always assumed we were sisters, we were together so much, though we didn't look in the least alike. We called ourselves The Siamese Twins. If you're curious what we looked like, here's a picture of us at the age of seventeen, in Greenwich, England, with the International Date Line between us. I'm the taller one. If my memories of that day weren't so happy, I'd be embarrassed by that picture....

The only class we ever had together was Home Ec, since Diane was in the four-year programme and I was in the five-year programme. In some ways, we were very different. She never read a novel for fun, and the only comic book she liked was Millie the Model. But we loved all the same tv shows and movies, and we always had a wonderful time together. Long telephone conversations. Long walks. Playing games. Playing with ideas. Talking about life.

After high school, she went to a community college and got a job with the City. She married her college boyfriend and soon had two kids, a dog, a cat, and a lovely house in the suburbs. I didn't have or want any of that, and when I visited her, it was like getting a chance to see a foreign planet - a pleasant one, but not a place I could live. She was always the pragmatic, practical one.

Now I see her, at most, once a year, usually on her birthday or mine. She and her husband are both retired now, enjoying travelling. One of her sons is married, the other recently back from working in China. When we do talk together now, it's like a conversation carried on from yesterday.

We still feel like sisters.

Comments

[sparklebutch.livejournal.com]

You have such a lovely life.

[silverwhistle.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing! What lovely people, and stories!

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I do?

Well, I guess I do. In many ways.

Love your icon.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

It was fun to remember them. I really should phone Diane more often. It isn't that I don't think of her often!

[sparklebutch.livejournal.com]

You have memories.

And, thank you.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Yes, I have memories. Lots of them. I should write about them more; it was fun to do. Just sparked by my memories of these people because today was their birthday.

[msilverstar]

Beautiful little pieces of memory there.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I did.

My goodness, that's a beautiful icon!

[silverwhistle.livejournal.com]

Yes. I was just thinking the same about a friend who's been ill, and was going to send her a CD.
Then I saw her obituary in the papers today.
Now I just feel… empty.

I had sent her a little doll as a mascot in January, as she was having chemo. I had thought she was doing OK… I knew she was busy working on a book.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking the same about a friend who's been ill, and was going to send her a CD. Then I saw her obituary in the papers today.

Oh no! How sad. Condolences. That's a shock as well as a sadness.

I'm sure the doll helped her, at least for a time.

[silverwhistle.livejournal.com]

She was delighted with her. I had made her for myself a few years ago, and taken her to a conference, where Lindsey had admired her. When she told me she was ill at Christmas, I decided to send the doll to her as a mascot. She said her husband was impressed with the detail on the costume - I'd sewn pearls on the little red boots, & c.

See my LJ for today.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

I'd sewn pearls on the little red boots

It sounds wonderful!

See my LJ for today.

Will do.

[atheneunknown.livejournal.com]

These are lovely memories. They make my heart warm.

Makes me miss my childhood too. Like being fifteen and walking up to my elementary school and having music on my headphones, and just swinging on the swings and staring at the feild.

God I miss that neighborhood. Too bad my Uncle owns that house now, I'd love to move back there.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Memories can be fun. I have nice memories of swings, too... and mostly of climbing trees. I loved to climb trees. Luckily I had a lot of them to climb in. One apple tree was a particular favourite.

Does your Uncle let you come and visit?

[atheneunknown.livejournal.com]

My Uncle probably would let me come visit if I ever asked. I just dislike him enough to forfit the right for the time being.

He said some nasty things about my mom, and thats one thing I cannot/Will not abide.

*sigh* My whole family is insane, and I'm just watching it get worse. Its like living everyday on the Jerry Springer show.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Well, I wouldn't like an uncle who had ever said bad things about my mother, either. I've never seen the Jerry Springer show, but I've known some insane families!

[atheneunknown.livejournal.com]

Between him and my aunt (siblings, not married), their enough to drive a sane person absolutly insane.

I'll be so happy in a few months when me and my boyfriend and my cousin are all living on our own.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

A few months? Not so long now, then. Yay for the coming happy day!

[atheneunknown.livejournal.com]

yah, mainly because of the eviction notice...*sigh*

go read my journal if you want more details.

[filkferengi]

Thanks for sharing the memories!

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

My pleasure!