The 2103 Academy Awards...

Last night some friends got together with me to watch the Academy Awards.

Now, I've watched the Academy Awards before, on numerous occasions, and I usually find myself kind of baffled. I've usually seen one or two of the movies nominated for Best Picture, seldom more. I usually don't get most of the jokes, and usually only recognise about ten per cent of the celebrities. I usually think the dresses on the women are ugly and all look alike, the men have too much facial hair, and the worst possible movie gets the award.

There are exceptions.

Last night there was much to love and much to hate. The bottom line: all those Oscar nominated movies I wanted to see? I'm not sure I want to see them any more.

Keeping in mind that I saw practically no 2012 movies, here is the list for my own special Fajrdako Awards for movies of 2012:

Best Animated Movie: Brave
Best Picture: Skyfall
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Daniel Craig
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Scarlett Johansson. Black Widow isn't exactly the lead of The Avengers, which is an ensemble cast, but she was outstanding. It wasn't a great year for female leads.
Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Ben Whishaw
Best Actess in a Supporting Role: Judi Dench
Best Cinematography: Skyfall
Best Costume Design: The Avengers (Okay, so they were designed by Jack Kirby in 1963 - they are still terrific designs, and well adapted to film.)
Directing: Sam Mendes for Skyfall
Documentary Feature 56 Up
Special Effects: The Avengers
Music: Skyfall
Makeup and hairstyling: Les Miserables
Best Song: Adele's Skyfall
Production Design: The Avengers
Visual Effects: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
WRITING - Adapted Screenplay The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
WRITING - Original Screenplay Skyfall (and it almost breaks my heart not to be saying The Avengers here, because I thought that screenplay was brilliant; but Skyfall was even better. I have the same problem in choosing between Sam Mendes and Joss Whedon as directors.)

As you can see, the Academy and I have only two selections in common: Brave as Best Animated Feature and Skyfall for Best Original Song. I know the Academy is going for outstanding quality in filmmaking, but I often think their choices are pretentious, and based on 'the most serious' or 'the most depressing' movies of the year; and sometimes, as with Django Unchained, I'm just at a loss.

They are not, of course, popularist awards. The movie-goers vote with their pocketbook there, and I noticed that the that the films which make a lot of money and the films which are chosen for artistic merit don't have much overlap. Entertainment value per se is clearly not a criterion.

And yet, the show itself always features the popular choices. The cast of The Avengers, for example, presenting an award. The tribute to the James Bond films. And so on....

Best moment: The Avengers cast presenting an award together. Samuel R. Jackson was particularly funny, with Jeremy Renner as his straight man.

Runner-up was Daniel Day Lewis' acceptance speech. And our glimpses of the charming, charismatic Quvenzhané Wallis, who was amazingly poised and articulate on the Red Carpet for a person of any age. And she's nine. Nine!

Worst moment: The boob song. I couldn't believe my ears: aren't we supposed to be honouring these great actresses, not shaming them and making fun of them? And what was the Gay Chorus doing there, contributing to that mess? Was this deliberate misogyny, old-fashioned sexism, erotophobia, or something else I couldn't even guess? Why did anyone allow that to happen? What were they thinking?

Other things worthy of comment:

• Charlize Theron. I'm not really familiar with her movies, but my goodness she was gorgeous. Such presence. Jawdropping.
  
  
• Is it a new trend, for actors to bring their mothers to the Oscars with them? Do their mothers not get to come otherwise?
  
  
• Almost all Seth McFarlane's jokes went over my head. I'm told it's just as well. All in all, I think William Shatner was right, and it's too bad that Shatner's segment lacked humour and charm, since Shatner himself can show a lot of both.
  
  I think Hugh Jackman should always be the MC; he was the best I've ever seen. And I liked Whoopie Goldberg when she did it, too.
  
  
• I have complained some years that all the dresses look alike, and they tend to follow colour schemes: all white one year, all black the next. This year we had some interesting variation, and though there were some trends I don't like - I'm still not crazy over strapless dresses in general - there was lots of visual variety and style. I particularly liked the dresses worn by Halle Berry, Jennifer Lawrence, Olivia Munn (who is she?) and Jennifer Garner.
  
  The dresses I most disliked were those with cleavage down to the waistline. Looks bad to me.
  
  
• Jane Fonda looked marvellous in a striking yellow dress that stood out among all those pastels. I guess it's not to difficult to look great after you've spent decades making fitness videos, but she's an amazing advertisement for her own work and lifestyle.
  
  
• Barbra Streisand. I admire her as a person and an actress but I've never liked her singing. It isn't her voice I dislike, it's the way she arranges her songs. This was an exception: I thought she was perfect. She looked great and sounded fabulous.
  
  
• Adele. She was a little drowned out by the orchestra, but how I loved her singing Skyfall.
  
  
• Goldfinger sung again by Shirley Bassey. What a joy.
  
  
• The dance numbers.
  
  
• The men did have too much facial hair, including men it really doesn't suit.
  

Bottom line: the thread of bad taste was an odd counterpoint to the general seriousness of event, as if they are trying to be lowbrow and highbrow at the same time, and failing with both. The winners were generally delightful to see and hear, and I enjoyed the evening.