World Enough and Time

Walkingowl...

2010-06-21T22:17:30Z

I got confirmation today that walkingowl died mid-May.

I didn't know that, but I wasn't surprised to hear it. I've been worrying about her. For two decades now we've been in touch - three or four times per week; sometimes daily - by phone, e-mail, or on LJ. Then suddenly she became silent. I couldn't reach her. A few months ago, she'd had a heart attack, and knew it might happen again.

I hope there's someone taking care of her beloved cats.

She was autistic and didn't have a lot of friends. She was one of the most intelligent and articulate people I knew. She had an amazing memory. She was an exceptionally good writer; now the books she planned will never be written. Just before she died, she was thinking about getting a master's degree, and I was encouraging her to do that.

She taught me so much, with her insight into autism. She was loving and loyal and generous and troubled. She almost came to visit me in April, then decided to postpone the trip.

She loved me dearly, and I'll miss her dreadfully. She was a major presence in my life.

Odd timing: a year ago today I scattered my father's ashes. A year ago today, Harry died - he was Gayle's friend also. This evening, my friends are at the unveiling of Harry's gravestone. I'd be with them if I could be.

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Rachael...

2009-09-04T19:33:22Z

I got a message today from a second cousin in the UK that her sister (my cousin) Rachael has died. It is a sadness.... She was ninety, and had Alzheimer's, but I remember her well from thirty years ago. She was good to me when I lived in the UK and visited her at Easter. We had fun exploring the Dorset coast together. She even took me to a ruined castle, bless her. Corfe Castle.

It's hard to imagine that spirit diminishing.

I remember too when I first met her, when she visited my parents in - well, I've no idea when, but it must have been the 1950s. I think I was a little starstruck by this relative who seemed so competent and clever, who had travelled so much. Back in those days, we didn't have many visitors at all - it was very exciting.

The news made me feel very out of touch with my British cousins, and to realize how my small number of relatives continues to shrink.

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A day for the dead and dying...

2009-06-22T01:54:23Z

This morning I scattered my father's ashes; this afternoon, I spent with my friend Harry, who has only days or hours to live. It was sad, but I'm glad I got to see him, even though he is now past hearing or perceiving us. Beulah, Hildegarde, and Andrea were there too, along with Sheila and a personal care assistant and a nurse. We talked a lot, and had pizza for supper. We all felt like family.

Harry is almost exactly my age and I've known him since we were both five.

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